#1
This is a prog rock song i just wrote.
Is it any good its my first one i've kind of finished


Biker man

(Sound of motorbike in distance then drums come in lightly! just the drums)


Intro
Where he goes
Noone Knows
Noone follows
Where he goes
Zooming past on his Bike

(guitar comes in)

Cos hes the Biker man
What hes running away from noone knows
Could be a wife whos crying
Could be a family who're dying
But he wont stop
Ill never do that to you
Ill always love you true

He has pain in his eyes
Under his hair
Pure sadness and regret
But he cant share

chorus

Hes so lonely
Riding into the distance
But he accepts it
Without resistence

Chorus

His used to be James Warren
He came from Broughrea
Three daughters all dead
The biker man is me

But babe dont leave me
I love you true
Or thisll be the last time
ill be seen alive by you

Cos im the Biker man
What Im running away from noone knows
my old wife whos crying
Three daughters who're dying
But I wont stop
Youve brung back all the pain
I am the biker man once again

(guitar solo)


Goodbye


Ill crit for crit so just leave links to any of your songs
Last edited by Grundy0 at Jul 22, 2006,
#2
woah pretty sweet song...i wont change anything cause i think it is good as it is, but thats just me
#4
not bad.. a prog rock song, I see it fitting that nicely. It's your first finished song, with that in mind it's quite good. It seems to me as kinda a more fun song, which is always good to listen to. Overall, I'd say it's definitely acceptable, although it's not exactly my type of song. I can't hold that against you, since you have to take songs for what they are. Good job, keep writing (since you'll get better over time and this is a good first attempt).
#5
thats actually pretty cool. i'd listen to the song. read!

here's a song that you will worship forevar. short, sweet, and to the point.

__________________________________________________ _________________
i'll smite you all
you WILL be smited
into the spikepit you'll fall
by a dog be bited
smite!
you!
smite!
you!

(guitars, bass, drums, that stuff-nenenenenenenenenenene!)

i'm at my cauldron
chanting a cliche-ish spell
(nenenenene!)
you should start to run
before i send you straight to hell
(nenenenene!)

but wait- i like you
you saved me from the bird poo

(short solo-ish bridge-y thing here)

i'll be nice, cuz your nice
here's some free beans n rice
your death'll be quick and painless
and your corpse wont even be much of a mess

smite!
you!
smite!
you!
__________________________________________________ _________________

oh yeah.......

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#6
I liked it, The idea was great. It's definately different and I really like that. Very original.
#7
It works. A couple of the rhymes seemed slightly forced but nothing major.

I thought of an acoustic country sound when I heard this, lol. I guess progressive rock would work too, though. Overall, good job.

Could you please crit "Your Perfect A" from my sig? Thanks.
#8
is it supposed to not be serious.. if it is, the intro to me sounds really cheesy.. thats just my opinion though.