well, it's definitely very eerie which is what im assuming you're going for, but i like it, kinda tool-ish (maybe thats cause i was just listening to tool though haha).....yeah it definitely comes to a dead end.....well here is the first thought that came to me....the whole song is pretty much anticlimactic (which really works for a lot of songs) but if you wanted to bring the listener out of the trance it puts them into, i would suggest making a sudden switch, such as speeding up tempo (but thats just an option, it may work better at regular tempo) and hit it hard with some distortion and lots of drums haha, even if its the same progression with perhaps a *slightly* different strum pattern.....in my opinion this would really bring the song around, unless you intend it to be kind of a creepy, melodic filler or end....anywho just a thought, take or leave it, just thought i'd try and help!
distortion is the answer then! maybe.

right after some messing around im going to go fuzzy uber metal after that to 'break the trance' as it were. thank you for your input!
Use headphones hooked up to a metronome to stay in time in the beginning, you kept going off time.

I don't really like it, but it's definitely not my style so I really am biased.

Speaking from an unbiased point of view, everything but the intro is in time and all the playing is really solid. The synths are pretty cool.

The part that comes in at 2:06 is the coolest part. I think you should go back to that and add on a different (perhaps more complex) melody on top of it. I think that would sound really cool.

Crit mine please?

hey ive just uploaded it again, with a metal bit stuck on the end for an ending. please at least listen to the end and tell me what you think. i decided i wanted to throw you off
^will do.....haha woah thats definitely not what i had in mind....where did the drums go?.....i mean to be honest that sounds really cool but i think the drums are absent a bit too long....but yeah that definitely did it....haha it startled me honestly, even though i expected something to come....its good stuff but i think you may need to work on that transition just a bit....much better though!
do you like the final 2 seconds of the song? my pride and joy. noobies delight
this has a delightfully eerie feel to it. The playing needs a little cleaning up, there are a few partial notes there and it does get out of time. I like how the synths fade into the intro. The transition to chords if a bit sudden and strange in this instrumental form, I think with vocals though it would go much more smoothly. The synths throughout add nice atmospherics. This distortion part could definately use some drums (and a better transition), oh there we go haha. Nice tapping solo needs a bit more variation, I wish you had gotten to some of that guitar work earlier. Overall it was ok, definately needs some polishing though.

crit for crit?: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=397828
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I don't like it.

It's really boring honestly. Has some cool synth sounds but that's it. Not my style at all anyway.
Hey dude , I 'm always looking forward to hearing some of your new stuff.
The beggining with the clean sounds chaotic , well played.
I liked the whole concept of the song, little bit repetitive at the beggining when the drums come .

2:12 : interesting sound effect , worked well with your song.

2:58 : what the hell ? lol . i wasnt expecting that ! nice riffage though and nice techno drum beats.

Solo . nice tapping dude . the song ends too weird. steep . i dont know the word cuase i suck at english .
Once again , you proved you can write music. way to go . keep going.
Can you comment on my new songs ? just listen to them , if you want, post a comment . any comments would be very much appreciated.
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
Last edited by Necrolust at Jul 22, 2006,
very tool-ish. i think. didn't really get how the bass and drums played into your initial riff. i feel like the guitar got lost. love the eerie sounds effects. the strum pattern kind of throws off the drums. i think it's too long for its structure. interesting. i didn't even last til the distortion/solo that other people were talking about.

please crit: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=395371