#1
I started writing this last night. Rather, this morning, at 4am.
When I started tabbing it later that afternoon, I made some changes and I've got this now. It's still a work in progress. I had some other stuff, but after I made the changes, it didn't flow so well. And now I'm stuck. I really need some advice where to throw this.

Thanks

[updated version near bottom]
Spiral Out
Last edited by HumanitysDeath at Aug 13, 2006,
#2
Wow I actually liked it a lot, its obviously a work in progress. The last part was really cool. I think a little mini solo needs to come next followed by a few verses with a strong lead and a driving rhythm that still kind've stick to the original chords you were using.
#3
I found the intro to be a little bit boring on first listen, but since then it has definitely grown on me. I loved the chorus, there's nothing I'd change there. The little solo thing (or whatever you would liek to call it) was well done. Fairly simple to play, but it definitely sounds good (and I don't mean simple in a bad way). After that, I'm not quite sure what you'd want to do. Maybe have the Intro again, but different note variations (like, instead of what you have now, maybe have more 16th notes, for example), and while that's playing, have a second guitar play another melody on top of that, Maybe a variation on that little solo you had? Sorry if they're not good ideas, I'm not really good at trying to help other people with their tabs, but hopefully my ideas did give you something to think about. Overall, very well done! Can't wait to hear the finished version!
#6
when i listen to it i hear the intro...then the chorus with vocals....then that little arpeggio riff with no vocals....and then back into a soft verse but not the same progression as the intro and chorus. I mean...it builds up...and then it sounds like it's done building up and bam...really quiet verse.
#7
I think the part from measures 13-17 should play a dominant part. Make guitar 2's part into your hook for the song. (Damn, that's cool)

I like the acoustic guitar intro, and maybe make that into the verse.

Like what you have so far! 8.5/10
METAR KTIK 040043Z COR RMK TORNADO 1W MOV NE. EVACUATING STATION
#9
Quote by Grovermans
i liked that a lot.
work on it some more :]

Oh Groverface!
I was hoping for inspiration. I'm stuck!
Ah. I'm still working on it. It's just tough trying to come up with a new part that isn't too repetive in relevance to the rest of the riffs used.
Spiral Out
#10
I really liked it, has good potential to become something very good indeed. I Like the chord progression and octave harmony and the overall feel, and How it built up. I await to see it finished, and dont forget, with this kind of music Harmonizing notes is your friend. Nothing I would change, yet at least, it doesnt even seem near finished. Crit for Crit perhaps? Link here:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=400766
#11
Right where you're at is an excellent buildup for a solo. What came into my mind was something with a playful Iron Maiden feel (like The Trooper), only more in the style of this tune.

Or, you could start out the solo with D on the high E string (fret 10 on the little one) in full bends, hitting it all throughout... Oh, I have a lot of ideas for this - but I'm horrible at actually writing solos! I wish I could share them with you to give you an idea of what I'm thinking so you can see if you like them and can adapt them to your song... Damn me, I suppose! haha
#12
If you feel like messing with it, you can put the idea(s) in PowerTab, and then email them to me.

Drown.In.Metal@gmail.com

But dont mess with it if dont have the time.
And seeing as I'm getting a lot of solo replies, I'll try to work on that.
Spiral Out
#13
I liked the song alot
But the octave in the 9th measure sounded odd to me
I messed around with it and i added a differnt ending in the Chorus only on the repeat
Obviously its needs to be added to
but i figured all you need is some powerful verses
and some sort of lead break in there and its a hit

Here's what i came up with vvv
Attachments:
felt alone revised.zip
Epi LP--->Digitech RP3--->Crate GT-200
#14
I thought that was really good. Intro was a little bland, but I loved the chorus and the ending. I feel that with work this can be an excellent song.
#15
definetely worth the listen. the hook is definetely at 00:44. very type o-ish. i dig that.
#16
Thats great, that lead part is great i hate you for writing it instead of me!

Where ur stuck Id say drums would kick in hard there, start strumming the chords to a pattern, variate the lead part slightly, have a third guitar playing octave chords.

But thats just advice.

If you could crit my two songs id be really grateful.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=411450
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=411451
Watch out for FLOODS exploding onto the UK Deathcore scene this summer.
#17
Quote by bad ike
definetely worth the listen. the hook is definetely at 00:44. very type o-ish. i dig that.

i dont know what you mean by "type o-ish", but thanks for the crit.

I'll crit yours, incubus, shorty after I'm done with this post.

I've updated this. It's kinda rough, but I like it.

Tell me what you think.

MIDI and PTab included.
Attachments:
I Felt Alone.zip
Spiral Out
#18
Awesome man. Its isnt really my style but i still loved it most. most of all, i love the way you didnt just use a drop tuning to make things easier, but to enchance the possibilities within the song. Nothing i can tell you to change really. Everything fits together really well and the hook in the chorus is catchy as hell. Definately something to keep working on.
Quote by masterohumans
there is something wrong with you that has nothing to do with that instrument you want to build.
#19
The very last riff was my favorite. It sounds really good man! Where to go from here? Hmm... I would say, maybe a really powerful chord progression of some sort. Kind of like an interlude, you know what I mean? Sounds really good though! If you throw in maybe a cool solo, or just keep the feeling going, this could turn out really awesome man!
- FJ

Quote by Landover Baptist Church
If you find [balloons in his bedroom], it is a sign that Satan may have taken your child by the hand and skipped off together to see the movie, Up without your knowledge.


#20
I liked all of it. I liked the beginning the most though. I think the next riff should just be both guitars playing chords with the same rhythm the rhythm guitar was playing on the last riff. (if that made sense)