#1
with who u are and what you want i wish you the best of luck
deciding between two respective glances of future love and romances
run with the crowd you faithless being
wait for miles and walk for hours in this field of uncertain decision
with senses and feelings aimed with random precision

watch your step young girl
you must settle your thoughts and set the table for these strangers you've invited
it should be a bloodbath

for both know each other, not in person nor in matter
but from the root of all their meanings and jibber jabber
the clatter of rough stares and hateful cares
these people are none other than the creatures and breeders of love's despair

the iron board of irony is heated high
as the one left behind in the sand does not bother to lift an eye
for he is in true denial of why he is he
and for why he is here with you and me
Last edited by redstapler1228 at Jul 23, 2006,
#2
I found this one pretty hard to follow and read. I felt it was kinda wordy, and found it hard to put a rhythm to it. Then again, I do fast, simple stuff so I'm not used to intense stuff like this. (And it's like 1:30 AM)

What kind of music does this go along to, that might help solve my problems with this.

Anywho, I like the word choice and some of the metaphors.
#3
this is sort of a poem than more of a song but i was thinking it would be like talked in front of some kind of trippy melody. i mostly write psychedelic type stuff but this is sort of different. i actually had inspiration for this.