#1
A Helpful Hint


Ill Admit
Theres Something Wrong
In My Head
And My Heart

You Can Fix It
With Just A Simple word
But You Chose Silence
A Weapon I Cannot Fight

Yeah Sure Its New
Thats A Good Excuse
But Wheres The Interest
I Desperatley Need From You

I Pray It Gets Cold
So I Have An Excuse
To Wrap My Arm Around You
Isnt That Cute?! I Bet Thats Cute!!

Lets Act Like Theres Time
Go As Slow As We Can
Ill Go Through Hell And Back
But will You?...
Will You?....
Will You?....

Ive Saved Room In My Lungs
Just For This
Put Your Head On My Chest
Feel It Rise And Fall With Every Breath

Just Be My Last Kiss
And Ill Be Your First
Doesnt That Sound Perfect?

This Feels Brand New
Like Its Never Benn Done
Is It Possible To Hold On?
To Finish?
To Win?

Just Be My Last
Ill Be Your First

Missing A Step
Might Hurt Your Feet
But Not The Dance

Just Be My Last
Ill Be Your First
Take That Chance

(THE LAST SIX LINES IM NOT SURE OF)
On the day that I go up they'll be completely out of forgiveness supplies

Member No.8 of Brand New Anonymous. PM MattDaviesFFAF, the_astronaut or ghettohippygirl to join.
Last edited by bleevo at Jul 24, 2006,
#2
seems like a emo-y kinda thingy-ma-bob. i dont like emo, but its decent. read this!

here's a song that you will worship forevar. short, sweet, and to the point.

__________________________________________________ _________________
i'll smite you all
you WILL be smited
into the spikepit you'll fall
by a dog be bited
smite!
you!
smite!
you!

(guitars, bass, drums, that stuff-nenenenenenenenenenene!)

i'm at my cauldron
chanting a cliche-ish spell
(nenenenene!)
you should start to run
before i send you straight to hell
(nenenenene!)

but wait- i like you
you saved me from the bird poo

(short solo-ish bridge-y thing here)

i'll be nice, cuz your nice
here's some free beans n rice
your death'll be quick and painless
and your corpse wont even be much of a mess

smite!
you!
smite!
you!
__________________________________________________ _________________

oh yeah.......

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#3
it is emo ish i guess.......thats what i was shooting for..........and i will worship your song
On the day that I go up they'll be completely out of forgiveness supplies

Member No.8 of Brand New Anonymous. PM MattDaviesFFAF, the_astronaut or ghettohippygirl to join.
#5
well...first off...this song is not emo at all...

and i love emo music....and bleevo...dont be afraid to liek emo music....
cause liking emo music just means that you have a soul...lol

anyways...this would make a good acoustic song...

i like the line

"Ive Saved Room In My Lungs
Just For This
Put Your Head On My Chest
Feel It Rise And Fall With Every Breath"
sounds Thursday-ish

good work...i like it

oh...but you might want to change the title...its quiet boring...

i say you name it something like...Pray It Gets Cold, or Your arm, my shoulder....or soemthign clever like that....right now...the title is too long...and boring
crit my rhymes?:

Lets Get Drunk and Fuck.

Subtle Arrogance

Do you realize, that i can clearly see your clitoris through your jeans?

Quote by Shaepwnsyou
They're very religious, so they have butt sex to save their virginity.
Last edited by br&nizzle at Jul 24, 2006,
#6
well i said it was emo....and thats what i was going for....so im not afraid of saying i like emo, becaus ei never said i didnt.....in fact i love it....and your right, it does mean you have a soul........thanks for the crit it was helpful, i will change the title, because i agree with you.....that line is my favorite to...i thought it sounded more brand new-ish......but thursday rocks my socks to...

ill crit yours
On the day that I go up they'll be completely out of forgiveness supplies

Member No.8 of Brand New Anonymous. PM MattDaviesFFAF, the_astronaut or ghettohippygirl to join.