#1
Probably the blackest of the songs I've written. Can anyone think of a name for it? Sorry about the chords cluttering it up I already had them written in and couldn't be bothered going through & deleting them.

Little girl so pretty (Em B)
Brown hair all curly (Em B)
I give her a smile (Em B)
But her eyes grow wide (Dm A)
And she turns away (A Dm)

What is it she sees (A G)
What is it in me (D A)
Do I look too haunted (D A)
Am I too cold or is it (D A)
Because my smile (Em)
Doesn?t reach my eyes (B Em)

(A G B)

Rushing to nowhere (A G)
I don?t think I?ll get there (D A)
Why should I try (A G)
When there?s nothing inside (F# Bm)

(Em B Em B)

I?m so empty (D A)
I Cant even cry (D A)
And my smile (Em)
still won?t reach my eyes (B Em)

Why should I talk? (A G)
When there?s no one who can help me (F# E)
Why open up,(A G)
If no one tries to reach me? (D A)

Why should I hide (D A)
The emptiness behind (D# Bflat)
A smile (Em)
that don?t even reach my eyes (B Em)

Yeah my smile (Em)
Still won?t reach my eyes (B Em)

I said my smile (Em)
Just don?t reach my eyes (B Em)

E?D?E
#2
I really enjoyed reading these lyrics, and I have to confess to strumming along too. There's nothing I would change about the words really, but I've been thinking about a title, my suggestions are the following;

My Smile
Rushing To Nowhere
The Emptiness Behind My Smile

My favourite of the three is rushing to nowhere, because it sounds less self-hating and is still fairly synonymous to the song. Anyway, keep on with it, and let me know what you decide to call it. I'd love to hear a version of it when you record it too...
#3
I really like it. It kinda has self pity in it and your angry with yourself, but hey we all get that way. Great job
#4
Awesome! It´s got a lot of feel in it.

A good thing you put in the cords too. I think they´ll work out nice.

The first verse hasn´t got a enough flow but it´s beautiful nonetheless.

I really liked the "smile that don´t reach my eyes"-thing.
Some live, some die. And the rest of us just keep fighting eachother.
#5
This is an awesome song. The lyrics flow really well, and it has a great hook. Great job with this song.

mjb4990
#6
Grow up, lyrically. Not the best; "Ghost Of You" (M.C.R.) would've been the better song.
#7
There is no hook and it feels like you don't even know what you're saying half the time. And the structure was ass backwards. I agree with poster above. I think it's back to the drawing bored on this one.
#9
Hey thanks everybody for the comments I'm pretty sure i'll call it rushing to nowhere... and I'm not going to try changing it now but it's a valid comment that the first verse doesn't flow all the well lyrically and i'll keep it in mind next time... and by the way i do know what I'm saying even if it seems like I dont
#10
not bad for a starter song, just keep working and experimenting with things that dont sound good until they sound great. try using verbs and nouns that wouldnt normally be put into a song. last comment, dont have any question marks in it. meh, just my preference. good job.