#1
A Positive Approach To Bullying

They hung an effigy of me
From a lamp-post in the street,
And I smiled a jagged, cotton smile
Swinging gaily all the while.

And at home, sweating, I dial the phone
Bite my quivering fingers down to the bone,
In yellowed clothes my yellow body
Squirms, contorts and writhes.

They hung an effigy of me
From a lamp-post in the street
And I, button-eyed winked
And smiled at those beneath my feet.

There?s beauty in free speech, I?m told
There?s happiness worth more than gold
Some fucking cunt must be happy now.
Some fucking cunt has won.

They hung an effigy of me
From a lamp-post in the street
Now I swing next to my doppelganger friend
And he has much more fun than me.
"You can never quarantine the past."
#2
i didn't understand what your poem was about, but it was interesting enough i read it all the way thru. hooray!!
I've seen emo-er.


Member of the "I am a Fan of Gaycore Wrestle-Metal" Fanclub.
#3
this is interesting, I read it through and couldn't quite make it out. It had some good lines in it though, particularly
"They hung an effigy of me
From a lamp-post in the street,
And I smiled a jagged, cotton smile
Swinging gaily all the while." I really like that, it's an interesting choice of words. Overall, I thought it was cool, thought provoking somewhat. Keep up the good work man.
#4
huh? read this!

here's a song that you will worship forevar. short, sweet, and to the point.

__________________________________________________ _________________
i'll smite you all
you WILL be smited
into the spikepit you'll fall
by a dog be bited
smite!
you!
smite!
you!

(guitars, bass, drums, that stuff-nenenenenenenenenenene!)

i'm at my cauldron
chanting a cliche-ish spell
(nenenenene!)
you should start to run
before i send you straight to hell
(nenenenene!)

but wait- i like you
you saved me from the bird poo

(short solo-ish bridge-y thing here)

i'll be nice, cuz your nice
here's some free beans n rice
your death'll be quick and painless
and your corpse wont even be much of a mess

smite!
you!
smite!
you!
__________________________________________________ _________________

oh yeah.......

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#5
What the heck ^^^^^ ?????

Anyways, broken_bottles (Or any other name if you wish), I think you absolotely nailed the flow on this one, it was spot on. It really helped the piece move from stanza to stanza, and it was so easy to read that I would have loved this just for that point.

I an't really find anything to fault with this, once more I'm impressed. Your one of those writers that doesn't write too directly, but doesn't over-complex thing with metaphor after metaphor. you tend to deal up a pretty good mix of the two, and time after time I've seen it work for you.

So, yeh, good stuff again. Oh, and you use swearing better than anyone else oon the site
#6
Ta Jammy and the user name guy especially. I'm not sure what Sadist Squirrel is on about. And yeah, I use swearing a lot in my poems, and I do realise that it's quite explicit in this one. Yet thanks for the compliments regarding this.

Thanks, Alex
"You can never quarantine the past."
#10
This is really enjoyable. I like this a good deal more than the "Pen mightier..." piece.
There was nothing particularly fancy going on with the rhyme but I thought the swearing was employed quite well. The "They hung an effigy of me" has some nice assonance and consonance to it.
"Some fucking cunt has won." - The best line, for me. I like.
Ro
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#11
Cheers. The rhyme was simple on purpose.

Yeah, I like a good old curse.
"You can never quarantine the past."
#14
I will do. I don't suppose you'd take a look at my latest, 'A Modern Day Melodrama'. It's being ignored.

I'll do yours ASAP, not now, 'cos I want to do a massive crit and I'm knackered.
"You can never quarantine the past."