#1
Well, after running into a bit of trouble with my last song (the one that ended up sounding just like an Offspring song), I decided to scrap that one and start a new song. Now, I'm not a very experienced guitar player, so I write only what I'm able to play. The rhythm guitar in this song is really simple, and so's the lead, but once I add lyrics to this song, hopefully it will sound better overall. One thing I'm worried about is that it sounds just like a song already made, so if you could please tell me if this sounds original or not. Second, does the transition between the Intro and Verse 1 work well (measure 5)? If not, then I can take that out and use a different riff for the verses. Will do crit for crit if you tell me that you have a song posted here.

edit: The song's finished, go to post #6 to download the Power Tab.
Last edited by banjo02 at Jul 25, 2006,
#2
The last chord played by the first guitar (staff 1) at the end of the intro sounds very, very off.
Other than that, the intro sounds great. I rather liked the rhythm and melody.

The transition from chorus to verse 1 worked well. I liked it.

I like verse 1. But I think the melody guitar should be slower, maybe just two 8th notes. And higher pitched. I think that would be a good balance.

I like what you have. You should definately continue this.
Spiral Out
#3
THanks HumanitysDeath! I changed the last note in the intro, and it definitely sounds better, so yout advice really helped. I also made a small change to the melody guitar in verse 1, like you suggested, and I like the change. I already crit your PowerTab earlier, so I can't really do anything in return at the moment, but thank you very much!
#4
I liked it, a lot. It had a nice catchy melody (some times simple is best) and I think you are getting the type of sound you want. everything flows well too. Reminds me off the Offspring, no song in particular but I could see them play something like this. Keep going with this I think it has lots of potential.

Could you take a look at one of mine? links in sig.
#5
yah the not sounded bad, lol, but it doesnt really sound sad to me, sounds a bit more determined, lol, imo, but good song, everything fits well, im copying HumanitysDeath once again, lol
#6
Ok, I finished the song, and am very proud of it. It's still a bit repetitive, but all songs are like that when you don't have vocals yet. The solo is really easy to play (about as easy as the solo in Holiday by Green Day), but I still think it does its job of sounding good. The out chorus, though repetitive, sounds amazing when the piano kicks in, playing the solo while the other two guitars are still playing their thing. I hope you guys like the finished version, and thanks for checking it out!

edit: I added a midi file so people can still hear it even if they don't have Power Tab. Haha, why didn't I think of this earlier? Geez...
Attachments:
Pop Punk Song.zip
Last edited by banjo02 at Jul 26, 2006,
#7
For some reason I feel like watching the Rocky Trilogy after listening to it. haha. I like how some of the lead octaves are like, 1 step above the powerchords.
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#8
i think you should change the last chord in
the intro/chorus and the rhythm in verse one.
i also think the E5 in the verse sounds bad.
i don't know what i'd change it to though.

overall, i didn't really like it.

I just want to sleep forever.


#9
Well, I'm a punk sort of guy (Not that my name gives that away) so I naturally enjoyed it. I really can't see anything that should be changed, I like the chord progression and the octaves over them, and reviewers must think, It is punk; its not meant to be revolutionary masterpiece. It's the energy that really counts in punk and the tone and feel and I think this captures it. It is, though, a very stereotypical progression, But you breaking away from it by adding the G#5 at the end is good for me. Well done. I'd also like to ask If you have MSN, AIM, or any other IMing program. I like to get fellow punk fans/writers in my "network".
#10
I really liked it. It was everything to expect from a pop punk song. A decent rythmn and some catchy riffs. Personally I think at times it sounded more upbeat or determined as Schecter86 said. Overall good job, might've been simple but it worked.

EDIT: Could you crit mine? Unlucky, it's in my sig.
Last edited by aaronni at Jul 26, 2006,
#12
So, I did as the above poster had asked, and attached a midi file. You can find it in post #6. Now, during next week, one of my bandmates and I are going to get together and start writing lyrics, and we're both supposed to have a couple of ideas before we begin writing. I do have a couple of ideas, but I'm not sure if they'll fit the mood of the song. Would sad lyrics work well with the tune (like, I was thinking of writing about my best friend who just moved away, but she was a girl, so of course there's more to the story. But it's a loooong story, so I don't really need to talk about it here), or should it be more of a "determined" or "upbeat" song as a few other posters said?
#13
Just listneed to the midi, sounds good. I liked it, much like my style. As for your question I can't really say after only hearing a midi file....but honestly just go with your instincts.
#14
Yeah like I said, punk is all about the energy and mood really so the thing that's on your mind most or was in mind when you were writing the song is probobly your best option.
#15
i like metal, and I liked that which is praise indeed :P

Nah jsut kidding it was a great pop-punk song you acheived everything you setout to do
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#16
Loved the song Not my type of music but good job The Solo was kool and i liked that it wasn?t really complicated...Your Bridge was kool it was and i did expect it Nice work.
#17
cool song, i liked the fills in verse 2, the piano was great, what i didnt liked was the pre-solo ending, that last chord doesnt seems to fit well imo. it really doesnt sounds sad-ish but its a great song. it reminds me of the offspring.