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#1
I have been playing guitar for 2 years and think that its time to join a band. The only problem is my parents.
I asked them for a bigger amplifier and they asked why. I told them that i wanted to play with a couple of guys. My mom goes crazy saying that I wasn't aloud and all I'll be doing is drinking and drugs.
How can I convince her that music is more then this?
#4
just tell her mum im not into that kind of stuff because drugs + music = messy guitar playing and im not that stupid or why do you trust you own son!!!!let me make my own desicions lol
#8
She sounds like one of those right-wing conservative types... just explain to her that in all the time it takes setting up, packing away, and above all else playing the show, even if you DID want to drink and do drugs, you just wouldn't have the time. If not, just say 'look, if you value your life just buy me the c*nting amp you daft bint!'

Not as if that would work, though... just buy it yourself, dude.
#9
you need to get your mom on the same page as you. its really hard to be a musician without the support of your parents and music. and just gain her trust so that she will want you to play music.
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#10
You're never gonna make it in life if you can't fend for yourself. Either shoot her in the ass or stop being a little pussy, suck it up, and buy it yourself.
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#11
your mom's a christian isn't she? well, chances are she wouldn't come to the conclusion that you would drink and do drugs in a band if she knew that you wouldn't even think of that...for example, i could tell my mother i'm heading on a tour throughout the U.S. and she'll know that i won't do drugs (besides possibly marijuana) because i'm not that kind of person, and she knows that i don't need that to get "high"; i get high on life man!

so you have to show your mom that you'd be trustworthy regardless of what you're doing...chances are if you can't buy your own amp then you're most likely not old enough to be gigging in the first place, show her this post and she'll understand
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#12
she shouldn't jump to conclusions, playing in a band has nothing to do with drug use--that comes down to your own decisions. if your fellow band members do drugs, then i imagine she doesn't want you hanging around them, band members or not, but if your band is clean, she's basing her opinion on a stereotype.
#13
The 1st thing I thought of was "join the church band." It would be a start and she would probably have no problem with that.
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#14
Everyone who is just telling him to buy the amp, you aren't looking at the problem His mom didn't say, "What are you crazy? We don't have money to buy you an amp" The problem is she is either A) over-protective or B) doesn't trust you. It's probably a mixture of the two. Just gain her trust and tell her that you WANT her to come see you play shows. Maybe if you get her involved she will be more apt to want you to do it.
#15
myvaliantleap you hit the nail on the head.
I am only 15 but my mom has made me a path that she wants me to follow. All she wants me to do is go to school and and get a job.
I think that I'm just going to have to wait till I'm 18.
Does playing in a band make you a better musician?
#16
dude? My mom wants me to get outta high school and get a job and the like. But she supports me 150% every gig , ever practice , everything she is right there. My parents support me n it help alot. You need to sit her down and talk to her , tell her you want to be in a band because it is an expiernce that seems fun. That is a natural high , lol in fact tell her in a sense its an anti drug. Hours at practice jamming around! My mom has seem my friends flat out stoned and she knows i wont do that ****. Dont wait that BS , i already explained to my parents that this is something that I hold dear , they are going to have to accept it. I keep up with school and what they expect so they hold up there end. Put it like that , if you are doing nothing wrong they need to trust you. You're getting the raw end , you wanna be in a band? There is nothing wrong with that , over protective parents piss me off so much. Ask her if it makes her happier if you jam with them at your house? Compromise , dont be a dick but compromise...
#17
Quote by eric_johnson12
myvaliantleap you hit the nail on the head.
I am only 15 but my mom has made me a path that she wants me to follow. All she wants me to do is go to school and and get a job.
I think that I'm just going to have to wait till I'm 18.
Does playing in a band make you a better musician?


It will definately push your musicianship skills further playing with other people. Even by just listening and watching someone, you can learn so much. You really start to learn when you try to make music with someone else. Better musicians will push you to be better, you will either have to come up to par or fail, and that is usually the motivation it takes to break out of a rut or move on in your guitar playing and musicianship skills. Also, playing with musicians who aren't at your level will not get you very far but it may help you see mistakes that maybe you yourself are doing. Again, just really talk to your mom and get her involved. Tell her that this is something that you love and music is going to stay with you throughout your life, hopefully she will see the importance of it to you.
#18
^ In reality the business world is getting very harsh , college degree's while are important just dont have the same impact anymore. College is the high school in terms of degree , it's almost mandatory.
#19
Quote by axe_grinder247
your mom's a christian isn't she?

Wow...that is possibly the most ignorant comment I've ever seen. My parents are both Christians, and my dad leads a band that plays secular songs in secular venues. So I guess that blows your stereotype right out of the water doesn't it?
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#20
^Yeah. Tom Araya is a christian...and look how he turned out.

I really can't empathize...my parents support me 100%. My dad bought me my first guitar and amp, he buys all my strings and chords and other necessaries and such. My parents actually tell me to turn UP at home. And fuck I have a bloody loud Laney stack!
So anyways, invite her to come to your band's practices. Get a band, and have her come. Show her that bands don't=drugs, sex and rock and roll. Generally just the last three (sex, rock and roll.).

Hey guys! I just started playing electric guitar should I get a Gabson Lay Pall or a Femdor Startokaster. I like the picks on the gabsons but i like how sweet femdors look. Beforre i get a gabson what company makes them?
#21
^Yeah. Tom Araya is a christian...and look how he turned out.

I really can't empathize...my parents support me 100%. My dad bought me my first guitar and amp, he buys all my strings and chords and other necessaries and such. My parents actually tell me to turn UP at home. And fuck I have a bloody loud Laney stack!
So anyways, invite her to come to your band's practices. Get a band, and have her come. Show her that bands don't=drugs, sex and rock and roll. Generally just the last three (sex, rock and roll.).
Same here, so I'm a bit lost as to advice.
If you want it that bad
Be a world class fad
Remember leave a trail of crumbs
If you want it that bad
You're a world class fad
Remember where you started from
Don't be sad
You're a world class fad
#22
Tell them that if they actively take a role in your music and development as a musician and stuff there'll be no way you'll get into that kind of stuff. Tell them it's just a hobby, because for now it is. Nobody can truly be serious about trying to be a touring musician until they've done a few gigs at the very least.

Christianity has very little to do with uptightness as far as drugs and stuff go, I doubt any parent would want to catch their kid smokin' the ganj.
Last edited by pratt121 at Jul 25, 2006,
#23
Wow, this should be ultimate-psychiatry.com

Look, you mom is waaaay too overprotective, and by the look of things, you love your mom but hate her decisions, its not her choice to map out a plan for you life, even if she does know best. Tell her what you feel, its your life, do whatever the **** you want, be in a band, and hell, when you are, shoot **** to piss her off.

Seriously. she needs to know what YOU wanna do.

Otherwise, shout "ITS MY F.UCKIN LIFE, I WANNA DO WHAT I WANT FOR ONCE", run off with just your guitar and a few dollars, hide away for a few days, then come back home. Shell be all worried and ****, and tell her that if she loves you so much and dosent want you to run away, ask her why she wont let you be in a band.

Its a crazy, but foolproof plan. And i should know.
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#24
same thing is happening with me, except my mom wants me to save my money.
#25
I had the same situation with my parents, but if your not a **** up then you will be fine. Just ask your parents why they dont trust you. I joined my first band and they were iffy about those stereotypes of rock bands, but now i'm in my second band, and they trust me. Rock bands are just for getting Stoned, its what you like to do, is play music with your friends. But hey just talk to them, because talking to them reassures that you are responsible and mature. It worked for me.
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#26
My mom supporst me and buys me stuff for guitar unless it gets to be like "Hey, I need this $700 head and $400 cab". Try to talk to her and tell her. My mom used to be not trust me but we had a lot of long talks about drugs and stuff and now she doesn't care what I do because she knows I'm going to do the what I feel is right.
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#27
oh come on, no one here does drugs? nnnno one?, and ganj DOES count.
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#28
^ Not with my band, they're completely against all types but that's not the point here.
Okay, let's look at this realistically, you are unlikely to make it BIG in the music business, you might be able to make a living out of it but the fact is if you can't make money out of it and you've not got qualifications at all to fall back on then you're a little bit stuck later on in life.
If you want to gain your parents trust, hold back for a little bit with the full on band because they're not going to buy you a bigger amp (that's how it read, that you were asking for one, if it's completely your own money then ignore this) if they don't think that being in a band is a good idea. Stick with the equipment you've got and find another guitarist to jam with (or a drummer, vocalist or bassist, whatever you find). Let your parents pop in and see what you do at practice and perhaps record what you do manage to do and show her.
If she doesn't trust you after you've put the effort in, then...I don't know at all. I can't say I have this issue. Just make sure she sees you're serious about this, and that you're responsible I guess.
#29
I would just sit down and have a mature conversation with your mom. My parents were sort of like that when I first started playing in a band, but they just wanted to make sure I wasn't going to fall behind in school. So I proved to them that I can handle school and music. Now I'm in college pulling a double major in Theory/Compostion and Performance. And my parents back me 110%. Gaining your moms trust would be the best thing to do.
#30
Maybe you should introduce your mom to your potential bandmates? Invite them over for dinner or something. Let her know they're not evil people.

Make sure your mom also likes your music. My mom hates me playing electric, but when I asked her "Mom, listen to this song I wrote! I need your opinion on if it sounds good," and played her a beautiful acoustic song (that I really had written) there was an immediate change in attitude. I'm not kidding.

Also, you should join the church band. You should prove that you care about whateverreligionyouare and also prove to them that you have skill. Non-musicians freak over someone who strums some chords, it won't be hard to impress them.

As for the amp, log out of ultimate-guitar.com and get a job.
#31
Tell you mom your not gonna make her mistakes, then shell listen


or just save up and buy your own damn amp
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#32
to be fair most great musicians play better when they are drunk or high... but anyways buy your own ****in amp
#33
Quote by eric_johnson12
My mom goes crazy saying that I wasn't aloud



Sounds like she wants you to get a bigger amp...
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#34
tell her she's being a red neck and that just because that is a stererotype doesn't mean it's true. i never had that problem my parents always are supportive and say i should play in more bands (i'm in 2) my dad nevr said i shouldn't do something well exept drugs but that was obios. anyway tell her that if she was in the same situation would she think that it was fair
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#35
Quote by lespaul_rentals
Also, you should join the church band. You should prove that you care about whateverreligionyouare and also prove to them that you have skill.


lespaul_rentals, this isn't a dig at you, you spoke a lot of sense, but your quote is the closest one to the end of this thread.

What is it with the religion thing? You don't have to be madly religious to have a problem with rock music. The way I read it, his mom has a problem with the prospect of him doing drugs. How is that linking into religion? The whole family could be atheists, or even pagans. It makes no difference, lots of religions are against drugs and more importantly lots of people are against drugs so the religion is completely unrelated.

Besides, assuming he and his family are Christians it doesn't mean that his church has a band that he could join anyway!
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#36
Quote by Circus
lespaul_rentals, this isn't a dig at you, you spoke a lot of sense, but your quote is the closest one to the end of this thread.

What is it with the religion thing? You don't have to be madly religious to have a problem with rock music. The way I read it, his mom has a problem with the prospect of him doing drugs. How is that linking into religion? The whole family could be atheists, or even pagans. It makes no difference, lots of religions are against drugs and more importantly lots of people are against drugs so the religion is completely unrelated.

Besides, assuming he and his family are Christians it doesn't mean that his church has a band that he could join anyway!


Well, I can tell that his mom is either very overprotective, very religious, or both. Most of the time the two go hand in hand...I'm just speaking from experience. I know many people are against drugs but most of the time even parents who hate the idea of their kids doing drugs will let them pursue their interests. I could almost guarantee they are some religion, Christian/Mormon/Catholic I would guess. I know it's a stereotype but I'm speaking from experience.

And, you and I both know...if he joined his church's band (if the church even has that) his mom would probably be more opened minded.
#37
I find it hilarious that all these peopel are suggesting that he curse out his mom or runaway or act sarcasticly towards her. That isn't going to make her any more trusting of him - if anything she'll just take his guitar away and say "no more music."

As for the whole religion thing, that really is a stereotype. Yes, it's a possibility, but there's a very strong chance that his mother is just plain overprotective. She doesn't have to be *blank* religion to be overprotective.

Topic Creator, I suggest that you just talk to your mom. Explain to her that you really want to do this and that you won't be drinking or doing drugs. Tell her that you could have practice at your house so she could see that it has nothing to do with drugs or drinking. Tell her how it will help you advance musically as well. Just have a mature conversation with her. That will make her trust you more than any of the idiotic suggestions in this thread.

Don't curse her out, don't run away, and don't throw a hissy fit. Just talk to her. If she cares about you so much that she's really overprotective, she'll listen to you and trust you once you talk to her.
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#38
Free alcohol, drugs, and groupie chicks are three great reasons to be in a band in the first place.
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#39
Quote by Aidy Damage
She sounds like one of those right-wing conservative types... just explain to her that in all the time it takes setting up, packing away, and above all else playing the show, even if you DID want to drink and do drugs, you just wouldn't have the time. If not, just say 'look, if you value your life just buy me the c*nting amp you daft bint!'

Not as if that would work, though... just buy it yourself, dude.


Way to inject politics into this, buddy
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#40
Quote by Guitar_Wannabe
Wow...that is possibly the most ignorant comment I've ever seen. My parents are both Christians, and my dad leads a band that plays secular songs in secular venues. So I guess that blows your stereotype right out of the water doesn't it?


I think you got axegrinder wrong. When he asked if she's a christian, he meant that then she'd think that she'd raised her son right and that she'd be able to trust in him that he wouldn't do drugs and stuff.

So just, settle down and be cool.
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