#1
Hey all, I was kinda having a block today (as you can tell by the lyrics) and decided to sit down and try to break it. Any suggestions, comments, etc are certainly welcome...

The Water's Stored Somewhere

Verse I
For all those who push
And yearn to succeed
There are still yet some
Who?ve yet to be freed

Those ones who just can?t
Release the beauty from within
Always fear they?ll forever be
Locked up and pinned

To the mat of reluctance
Self-doubt and restrain
They?re happy to lose
Having never even played

There come days of rain
And days dry with despair
But all of us know
The water?s stored somewhere

Chorus
When the well runs dry, man
You gotta dig deeper
Find what flows from deep inside.
When your mind locks up
You?re the only gatekeeper
the doors are yours alone to pry

Verse II
Now to the hard part
You say to yourself
The ink?s run dry
And you?re dusting the shelf

Of thoughts and ideas
Screaming to create
But idle and hopeless
You start to lose faith

At times like these
You?d rather give up
And tell the whole world
That you?ve tried hard enough

At times like these
Just remember one thing
There are things that are easy
But they don?t mean a thing

Chorus

Verse III
There?ll come a time
In every man?s life
When he chooses to live
Or chooses to lie

On that day he?ll declare
With his whole heart and mind
That he?ll either give it all
Or lay down and die

He?ll take the easy road
That leads to nowhere
Or he?ll dig down deep
And find something to share

With the world outside
That knows what he?s got
But is waiting for him
To just give it a shot

Chorus
Last edited by bdlydrwnby at Jul 25, 2006,
#3
Glad to see that you broke your writer's block. The song was simple, yet it was very well written. It flowed well and it was heart-felt. Keep up the good work.

Crit mine please.

The Reaper's Touch
#4
Quote by bdlydrwnby
Hey all, I was kinda having a block today (as you can tell by the lyrics) and decided to sit down and try to break it. Any suggestions, comments, etc are certainly welcome...

you have a block day by day?

Untitled

Verse I
For all those who push
And yearn to succeed
There are still yet some
Who?ve yet to be freed

im only critting cause this attracted me to it. Its not like every s&l thread so be happy for that.

Those ones who just can?t
Release the beauty from within
Always fear they?ll forever be
Locked up and pinned

i dont like "pinned here" i think you should continue the abcb structure you had. i see you dont for the rest of the song, but its rare to see that structure in songs and it would set this apart, plus i really like it.

To the mat of reluctance
Self-doubt and restrain
They?re happy to lose
Having never even played

ok "mat" idk why you used that and also you refer to it later as playing it, so playing a mat? this does flow really well though.

There come days of rain
And days dry with despair
But all of us know
The water?s stored somewhere

good alliteration on line two i kinda like that stored somewhere too.

Chorus
When the well runs dry, man
You gotta dig deeper
Find what flows from deep inside.
When your mind locks up
You?re the only gatekeeper
the doors are yours alone to pry

id change line two to you gotta dig deeper to so it flows better.

Verse II
Now to the hard part
You say to yourself
The ink?s run dry
And you?re dusting the shelf

Of thoughts and ideas
Screaming to create
But idle and hopeless
You start to lose faith

At times like these
You?d rather give up
And tell the whole world
That you?ve tried hard enough

At times like these
Just remember one thing
There are things that are easy
But they don?t mean a thing

Chorus

Verse III
There?ll come a time
In every man?s life
When he chooses to live
Or chooses to lie

On that day he?ll declare
With his whole heart and mind
That he?ll either give it all
Or lay down and die

He?ll take the easy road
That leads to nowhere
Or he?ll dig down deep
And find something to share

With the world outside
That knows what he?s got
But is waiting for him
To just give it a shot

Chorus


i got bored but i helped you with half, also for future refrence just title it "untitled" or your breaking the rules

-Mike