#1
Hey guys. I normally never post in here, but this is a really important song I've written so i was hoping for a little feedback. It's supposed to be a quite, folk-ish sounding song, the name is still in the works so please anything at all is greatly appreciated. Thanks.


i look up to you
as an admiration
a tender inspiration

i thought i would never
in all the time that i had

no no no no no

and he'll never know who loved him

and yes i do
i do thank you
for the composition
#2
suggestions:
maybe reword "as an admiration" in the second line to "in admiration"
try changing the flow to keep it a little more constant
some of the rhyme scheme is a little messed up
keep working on it