#1
i wrote this about my ex, while i was goin out with her obviously im thinkin an acoustic style 'patience' type thing with some dylan-esque harmonica.. if you got any suggestions, let me know..

crit4crit..


Wisteria Blues

When the morning light
is shining through the haze
and I look real hard
but all I see clouds up in grey
When the telephone
starts to rattle an shake
I try hard to hear
Yet I can only hear the rain

It?s been a lonely time,
to be swept off my feet
an I?ve had the longest nights
but since I got you
theres nowhere else I?d rather be
smile sweetly , + keep your eyes on me
listen up an listen good
now since I got you,
an you got me.

Hey, honey don?t be crying
know how much you mean to me
Hey, honey don?t be crying
They?re not the same old words
someday, I?m sure you?ll see
Hey, honey don?t be crying
here?s what you mean to me
Hey, honey don?t be crying
no need to cry,
Since you got me.

Are they the starry eyes
that get me thinking of stars
look up to the sky and
tell me who made it all so far
Are those the child?s hands
pressed to the grass
keep me in line but
I wonder what they call love

It?s been a lonely time,
to be swept off my feet
an I?ve had the longest nights
but since I got you
theres nowhere else I?d rather be
smile sweetly , + keep your eyes on me
listen up an listen good
now since I got you,
an you got me.

Hey, honey don?t be crying
know how much you mean to me
Hey, honey don?t be crying
They?re not the same old words
someday, I?m sure you?ll see
Hey, honey don?t be crying
here?s what you mean to me
Hey, honey don?t be crying
no need to cry,
Since you got me.

Solo

Hey, honey don?t be crying
know how much you mean to me
Hey, honey don?t be crying
They?re not the same old words
someday, I?m sure you?ll see
Hey, honey don?t be crying
here?s what you mean to me
Hey, honey don?t be crying
no need to cry,
Since you got me.

Well being alone, comes as no surprise
in this twisted an mirrored paradise
the home for 14 years,
that I?ve called this world of mine
now I think its time to get out
and start playin? that tune
the taste your leaving,
that?s just what they call the blues

Just a-playin the blues
To sort what?s real from my mind
gave us summers in the park
and winters in the rain
well it?s been a long time coming
so tell me. was it worth the wait.

It?s been a lonely time,
to be swept off my feet
an I?ve had the longest nights
but since I got you
theres nowhere else I?d rather be
smile sweetly , + keep your eyes on me
listen up an listen good
now since I got you,
an you got me.
Hey, honey don?t be crying
know how much you mean to me
Hey, honey don?t be crying
cause they?re not the same old words
when they?re coming from me
Hey, honey don?t be crying
here?s just what you mean to me
Hey, honey don?t be crying
no need to cry,
Since you got me.

Hey, honey don?t be crying
know how much this means to me
Hey, honey don?t be crying
It don?t take just any girl
to get me easy to please
Hey, honey don?t be crying
here?s what you mean to me
Hey, honey don?t be crying
your lovin? killed my blues
no need to cry now,
Since I got you.


just re-reading it, an im kinda thinkin of changing the prechorus before each chorus, cause i like it, but its maybe a lil repetitive?,, im also thinking of adding a second part to the song but im really not sure, so any ideas would be much appreciated, thanx.
#2
I have to be honest with you, I loved this song. It was so sweet and damn near perfect. I really liked the way it flowed. Keep up the good work

Crit mine please

Veneration
#4
aw it's really sweet wish someone would write me a song like that... the prechorus is pretty good but if you come up with another option I'd be interested to see it!
#5
damn man, u r awesome, itsa rlly nice song n the name sounds pretty interestin!
check out my song Euphoria