#1
this was my 1st lyric song and my friends and family think it's pretty good for a 1st song. hope you guys like it.


Rock Storm


you here it on the news,


what's coming to you,


gotta hide the children,


but you're already doomed,


cause we're blowing up a,


Rock Storm,


baby we're a rock storm,


yeah, yeah, Rock Storm,


baby we're a rock Storm,


oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,


It's upon you now,


all the noise too loud,


some run, go insane,


but it's in your brain,


cause we're blowing up a,


Rock Storm,


Baby we're a Rock Storm,


yeah, yeah, Rock Storm,


Rock storm,


oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,


then it goes into a solo and the chrous and fades out.


any advice on how to make that song a little better???
Play Slammer by Hamer, lookin' for a epiphone les paul for cheap. love rock. My band name is PULSE. it's sweet.
#3
I say you should:
1. Dont double space to make it look longer.. cause in reality i could fit that into about 10 lines.

2. Make the verses longer... and add more meaning to them.. i didnt really feel them that much..

3. Make the chorus less repetitive.. not to sound rude but it sounded kind of like a song sumone like N*sync would sing...

crit mine plz...
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=400999
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#4
meh dont be so harsh. i bet you didnt read all the FAQS n rules straight away. i think its a pretty good song, kinda cheesy. but very good for a first time. maybe add a 3rd verse an a bridge, or make the two verses twice as long, otherwise leave it, its very good. please crit my songs in my sig, thanx.
#5
Yeah that's really good for a first song. I'm a beginner at writing songs too. Can you tell me how to post my lyrics so ppl can tell me what they think?
#6
I have to say i thought this was Crap If you really wanna make this song better MAKE ANOTHER NON CHEESY CONCEPT because this is just pitiful i mean my little eight year old cousin could write something more mature. Rock Storm hahah The music would have to be pretty good to save you from the lyrics like Lordis - Hard Rock Hallieujah Great song Crap lyrics
#8
Quote by Cyclones41
Yeah that's really good for a first song. I'm a beginner at writing songs too. Can you tell me how to post my lyrics so ppl can tell me what they think?



scroll to the bottom of the "songwriting an lyrix" page, click on the make new thread button, an type ur lirix into the box, then click the "submit" button.

or better still go on the newbie section, lots of ppl can help there
#9
damn man, u.... well idn what that was. put some damn emothin into it or somethin. u can make the song better by printing it out, pouring carosine on it, lighting it on FIRE m*****bate with it while its lit, and take pictures.
{end off topic}

you cant put 4 or 5 lines into a verse. you get about 15 seconds out of each.


and by the way, if ur friends think its a good song, get them into drug rehab. Stat.
#12
Please read the rules and FAQ, concerning titles
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