#1
I give crit for crit, any comments would be appreciated.

We Are The Archers

I watched them fall. Eyes locked to mine,
Feeling as if I had let them down.
Caught blinded by silk, led by lips
To the baited chains.

Now look around. Regret.
As the axe swings before your eyes,
Think how everyday we spent dreaming.
Never once did we pick up the sword and learn to fight.

Now is the time. Pick yourself up and fight.
Learn to swing. Learn to swing.

They watched me fall for the last time.
But how is such and elegant blade to be stopped?

When in times where eyes set sites
To cross-hair the weak, my bride,
I'll try, oh so hard, to find that Light.
Cause in his mind she baits me to fire.

What a cunning foe we've met!
Our horizons pushed pages away to a new fight,
A new method, new plan. But how do I train?
How do you ready a child for war?
Oh what a cunning foe we've met!

The Captain, what will He send?
I know He will send, but what will be sent?
I can feel a slip. A buzzard scrapes nearby...
As I atop this hill stand and scream,
It's all I can do to control my gaze
From the curiosity of seeing myself as prey.

And then I heard an armored march.
I heard an armored march,
That shook the trees,
That shook the trees,
Bows bent as they sang,
"We are the archers!"
"We are the archers!"
Serrated Defiance(Latest)
Skinning Sympathy
^i give crit for crit

~Truth is an idea, a concept that we all cling to for answers. Truth in itself is a question, only asking "what are lies?"~lambofknot


my fist, your face
#3
I like it, firstly.
2nd I don't say this often but it is a song and has to have rhythm and I don't see it, But music fixes everything. Some awesome scenery going on. Takes you inside your head which is always a different ride where so many minds are different. I've got nothing to say against it really, be that good or bad.
Keep up the good work
#5
I agree that there didn't seem to be any rhythm to the song. But maybe I'm just not seeing it. Anyways, I really thought this song was good. I really liked the topic and the way you worded it. Keep up the good work

Crit mine please

The Infestation
#6
yeah, me too, thought it was really good, nice job telling and saying what youre meaning to say. the rythim problem i see but i think in a song it wont be a problem, is it a song? what genre?

hey, critting back? its in my sig.
#7
Thanks everyone, we played our first show on the 29th at Ft. Worth. Heres our myspace if you want to hear it, by the way I am the bassist and helped write this song, Micah was the one with the vision.
www.myspace.com/ohsleeper check it out!
Serrated Defiance(Latest)
Skinning Sympathy
^i give crit for crit

~Truth is an idea, a concept that we all cling to for answers. Truth in itself is a question, only asking "what are lies?"~lambofknot


my fist, your face