#1
This is a song I wrote a few years ago. I dont think its very good. So crit me on this one plz


A troubled young man looked back at his life
He saw the same old story but he ended it twice
Reflecting his face the mirror called his name
And said: Son, you're not the only one who goes this way

That same old boy carried on with his life
Never letting go, he tried everything twice
And now his sons and daughters calls his name
He died alone in his very own way

While singing

(chorus)

All is gone
All my love
Thrown away
And died of old age
All is gone


A while back, this girl I knew
She had her mothers eyes, it was a beautiful blue
But deep inside she had a twist of fate
Poisoned and leaved, two minutes too late

All is gone
All my love
Thrown away
From the cradle to the grave
All is gone


Gone away, after eons of time
Never thought it'll be this great, after wasting my whole life
But in the end, everything turned out ok
What is left, is lost anyway

All is gone
All my love
Thrown away
Its always been that way
All is gone
Last edited by Gibsonsun at Jul 26, 2006,
#2
The chorus is a bit lame, but otherwise it has potential to be a good song. Love the verses, at some places you might have to improve the flow a bit, but they´re really good.

It´s a shame you don´t seem to believe in it. If you worked a little more on it, it could be good. But if you don´t think it is good, don´t bother. I LIKE IT.

Är du svensk? Psst, jantelagen gäller inte på nätet.
Some live, some die. And the rest of us just keep fighting eachother.
#3
I really liked this song. I enjoyed the narrative quality of it. The flow of it was also very good as well. Nice job. Keep it up.

Crit mine please

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#4
It is very good except for that the chorus is cliche. But it is good.