#1
I think its a bit cheezy but it was in my head I cant think of a good hook tho

I see your face in the morning
I see your face at night
Your soul swims threw my midnight dreams
But I still don?t have the bite
There is nothing I would not do
And there is nothing I would not say
To keep your sky blue
And to brighten up your day
My heart is in your hand
I begging please don?t squeeze
I love to hear you speak
I love to hear you breath
Your eyes are like a maze
And I?m glad to be lost
My heart is wrapped in chains
As the line of strange is crossed
You?re the best theirs ever been
or ever gona be
Your heart is solid gold
And I hope you love me
>CrAzY<
#2
We like it. its cool. its not screwed up and abstract like most stuff on this site.
peace. WOODnotes
#5
Thoughts as I read this:
Whoa is he saying he is having wet dreams, she IS swimming through them. Gross.
continues
Okay so far pretty straight forward stuff, blah blah
Woah
As the line of strange is crossed <--Really dislike that line for some reason
blah blah

Okay overall it was pretty straight forward, didn't stimulate my brain at all, not nessisarily a bad thing. It wasn't BAD, but it definately isn' what I'd call good.

Crit mine if you have time https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=402453
Jesse Wants To Die Just As Much As You Want Him Dead
#6
yeah i know its cheezy but i had wright it i have had this line for line in my head for a few monthes i think with a choras and some work it could be decent


thx for the honesty
>CrAzY<