lyrics to another one of my band's songs i made
Crit 4 Crit


Can't seem to get it right
Try as hard as I might
Everything is done wrong
Stressing for far too long
An itch in my mind
These worries make me find
The trouble with me is
I'm Obsessive Compulsive

(Verse 1)

Looking to find the source
but I - can't - seem to stop
I'll do it over again
until - I - finally drop
Dead from this world, I've never
real - ly - been the same
I used to be fine, but
this problem is the thing to blame
I'll say I'll try it once
but I - will - try it twice
I'll try it a hundred times
till I - think - it's precise
It's killing me slowly
it's eating - my - heart and soul
Obsessive Compulsive
I'm losing - all - self control


(Verse 2)

I'm diggin' my own grave
just hope - it's not too deep
6 feet between normal life
that aint - too - bad a leap
Not really different than
how I act - either way
The same kind of routine
that i use each and every day
The trouble with me is
I'm just - not - all that smart
I try to help myself
but I only - fall apart
I've lost good sense of
simple tasks - common goals
Obsessive Compulsive
I've lost all of my self control


I'll admit I'm a bit Obsessive Compulsive

I'm Obsessive Compulsive and I will not change
I can relate to this song but it's nothing special. I just feel like there is so much more that you could have done with the idea. The rhyming, especially in the first stanza seems very forced.
There were some lines that I liked, "An itch in my mind" and "I'm diggin' my own grave just hope it's not too deep" are my favourites.
I'll give it a 6/10 but i think you should try to rework the idea a bit and relax the rhyming.
Mine is in my sig if you wanna check it out.
It was ok. It seemed more like a poem than a song imo. But that's just me. The rhyming seemed a little forced.
I agree with Neely on most of his points . This piece had two redeeming stanzas both in teh 2nd Verse. The Rest teh ryhme scheme was very annoying and forced. I don't liket eh repetition of Obsessive Compulsive although it seems to be a joke about being obsessive about saying you have OCD.

crit mine please. https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=402453
Jesse Wants To Die Just As Much As You Want Him Dead