#1
I just wrote this. Want to hear what some other people think.


What Will You Do?

There?s an old and deaf archer, now,
Making me wonder how,
You could leave this moldy tomb.
A beauty that spoke in Love?s breath,
Delivered me from Terror?s breast,
But left me in the loneliest of wombs.

What will you do?

It?s an old and shattered pine tree spine,
Speaking of the sweetest swine,
Marching, just to sing a song for you.
I was once your brother-in-arms,
The favored son, to save you from harm,
But now I feel old and misused.

What will you do?

You?re happy now, but for how long?
Will the Judge reverse your song?
To make you sing like your abused?
It?s a sad and curious word,
How one killed a sweet white bird,
Who only wanted to sing for two.

What will you do?

My body is gone, and you think you?re free,
But soon enough, you?ll think of me,
And all the feelings will come back to you.
You?ll be alone and empty then,
Never to see me again,
And then, I wonder, what will you do?

What will you do?

What will you do?
#3
I haven't written music for it yet, but I plan making it just acoustic guitar, similar to "Good Riddance" by Green Day, or "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley.
#4
i really quite like it...
especially how the last verse suddenly ties in the chorus...i would like to see how the "what would you do" would be sung, your take on it
#5
I plan to sing it gently in the beggining, with increasing scorn, and then of course go back to gentle on the last line. In my head, the entire thing sounds like a lullaby.