#1
Never stop seein red when her reds go blue
In her lie amusement parks
Ive been seen in quite a few

That chick acts love sick so well
She Should be proud of herself

Never before and unprepared
She got a mean swing when she walks
That damn swing catches me offguard again

That chick acts love sick so well
She should be proud of herself

I stand in awe of her tragic flaw
As she turns from sly to grace
In between lies with a wide eyed wonder. . . .
LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULER
#2
Nice little song I suppose. The repitition fits very nicely. And I know what you mean about turning from sly to grace. Know a couple girls that do that pretty well. 4/5 stars man

BTW, LOVE the sig lol
#3
hey dude.

I really think this could be a classy adventure with some music put to it. There are parts that frankly, say things that have already been said, but that always happens so don't worry much about it. I really dig those parts anyway so it's cool. I definitely enjoy the
"She got a mean swing when she walks
That damn swing catches me offguard again"
and
"That chick acts love sick so well". I think you could probably take those three lines, and re-write a whole song just around them that might even be better than this one. Very decent though, well written.
Cheers,
- PunkFish
#4
"shes got a mean swing when she walks"

ive been trying to write a song about that. . . . . . .cant do it. . . . angers me.

"from sly to grace" i fell in love with a "slut" and dated her for 2 years. . . she had a bad reputation, but it all changed when we started dating. . . . . . .


this "song" is not at all what i wanted it to bed. to me it seems like too much bs and not enough about what i was going for. i want to write a song about a girl. not a sappy ooooooo i love you song, but damn you look good and you know it song. grrrrrrrrrrrr cant do it. been workin on it for months and this is all that has come out.
LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULER