#1
Inspired by Blink-182's Man Overboard. I wrote this one quick and it's suits the music that goes with it however, a few lines seem a bit "boring" Anyone got some tweeks they wanna share? Wayne


Real you

Intro/Chorus

Go away, i'm not your friend.
This is the end.
Of our, relationship.
Go find somebody new.

Verse

Don't call me on the weekends again.
So you can get drunk.
Don't call me when there's no-one else there.
For you to talk to.

Verse

I've had enough of you relying on me.
It's just not worth it.
Because i know you'd never do.
The same for me.

Chorus

Go away, i'm not your friend.
This is the end.
Of our, reltionship.
Go find somebody new.

Verse

The real you has been hiding in the shadows.
All of this time.
And now you've finally revealed yourself to me.
The real you's not good.

Verse

I wish you the best of luck.
See you later.
I'm not the shoulder you lean on.
Anymore.

Chorus

Go away, i'm not your friend.
This is the end.
Of our, relationship.
Go find somebody new.

Bridge

I'm not settling for second best anymore.
I'm not gonna be your last resort anymore.
I hope that, me leaving you will be.
The wake up call you desperately need.

Chorus

Go away, i'm not your friend.
This is the end.
Of our, relationship.
Go find somebody new.

Chorus

Go away, i'm not your friend.
This is the end.
Of our, relationship.
Go find somebody new.
#2
Quote by Niterox
Real you

Intro/Chorus

Go away, i'm not your friend.
This is the end.
Of our, relationship.
Go find somebody new.

How about changing it to
"Go away
This is the end
I'm not your friend
Go find somebody new"


Verse

Don't call me on the weekends again.
So you can get drunk.
Don't call me when there's no-one else there.
For you to talk to.

Verse

I've had enough of you relying on me.
It's just not worth it.
Because i know you'd never do.
The same for me.

Chorus

Go away, i'm not your friend.
This is the end.
Of our, reltionship.
Go find somebody new.

Same as before

Verse

The real you has been hiding in the shadows.
All of this time.
And now you've finally revealed yourself to me.
The real you's not good fine.

Verse

I wish you the best of luck.
See you later.
I'm not the shoulder you lean on.
Anymore.
What about adding
"Go away from me
You filthy whore"


Chorus

Go away, i'm not your friend.
This is the end.
Of our, relationship.
Go find somebody new.

same
Bridge

I'm not settling for second best anymore.
I'm not gonna be your last resort anymore.
I hope that, me leaving you will be.
The wake up call you desperately need.
Good
Chorus

Go away, i'm not your friend.
This is the end.
Of our, relationship.
Go find somebody new.

same

Alright, sorry if I've totally mauled your song, this is the first full critique I've ever given. Just take what, if any, suggestions you feel appropriate, and use them to your content. Overall, you hit the pop-punk thing on the balls, good job.

It would be great if you would crit my new song "Slave to the Dollar", please. Thanks!
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=403931