#1
k tell me what you think and what i need to work on btw this is my first real song.


So it?s over
Without a second thought
I cried and wined but it
Wasn?t enough

I loved you from the start
Forget my broken heart
Remember these tears
And forget my fears

Nothing felt wrong
All I hear is this stupid love song
Baby tell me this isn?t real
I miss how you feel

And where I bring sorrow
She will fallow
Where I bring lies
She will cry
When I feel down
She?s around

We watched the sun go down
You turned my life upside down
Made my dream?s come true
I wouldn?t be anywhere without you

And where I bring sorrow
She will fallow
Where I bring lies
She will cry
When I feel down
She?s always around

So just remember this time
Where everything stopped
And all I thought about was holding you
I miss you??.
#2
ah first song, please read the rules :P no problem or anything but you may want to delete, this and either post with a title as 'untitled' or make up a name for the song and use that. Thats all that is allowed. I may get to this after you do that.
#3
Aight, nice song, just a few things:

1. Just to get it out of the way, its cliche. Not that that's a bad thing, just keep it in mind, mix up your musical arsenal with more stuff than just relationships and breakups.
2. The "nothing felt wrong" part seems like it kinda breaks the rhythm of the whole song. Unless you're using it as a prechorus (in which case it would go before the second chorus) it seems kinda out of place.

Good work though, very emotional. If you feel like checking out my songs they're in the sig.
#4
Didn't like the couplets. Usually I dislike when people get yelled at for couplets but because the lines are so short and relatively simple, I think it might sound weird. For a first song, this is really good though.