#1
I LOVE YOUR SHOW

If a sang a song to you
You'd say to me, "Who the hell are you?"
Well, I'm just one of a million fools
Do you remember the good times?
"I'm sorry those memories aren't mine"
I must have been living someone else's life

Here, you can sign this photograph
It's not much, but it's the only thing of you I have

Let me know if I have a chance
You just turned around and laughed
Told me, "Maybe you can, maybe you can't"
There are so many things I want you to know
I need to tell you I love before I go
But all that comes out is, I love your show

Here, you can sign this photograph
It's not much, but it's the only thing of you I have
Last edited by themarsvolta at Sep 7, 2006,
#2
Intriguing, I don't really like the whole idea of the song but the way you wrote it made it seem more interesting. I really don't like the first verse, it just seems childish except the last two lines, they were great. The next verse seems quite cliche and cheasy to me especially the "But now I believe in destiny and miracles, Because I've just seen an angel."
It just seems to stray away from the impression you were trying to make in the first verse. The next verse (I assume it's actually the chorus...?) is better than the others, it doesn't show the same problems that were in the first and second verses. I really like this actually. The last verse is just a great way to close a song like this, I love it. Overall it seems good in the last half like you firgued out what you wanted to write about in it, bravo. 7.5/10.

Mind critting my new one? The link's in my sig down there.
If The Archers Bows Have Broken, Then I Hope To God They Know How To Fight.
Last edited by calvinthecanadi at Jul 31, 2006,
#3
Quote by themarsvolta
I LOVE YOUR SHOW

I've met you in my dreams
Seen your face on the TV screen
You grace the pages of magazines and my fantasies
Can I have an autograph
Here you can sign this photgraph
It's not much but it's the only thing of you I have

Repetitous of the sign my peice of paper. Other then that I like it.

I've never been very spiritual
But now I believe in destiny and miracles
Because I've just seen an angel
Oh my God, I must've died
And this place must be paradise
Because you're standing right in front of my eyes

Sounds good

If a sang a song to you
You'd say to me, who the hell are you
Well, I'm just one of a million fools
Do you remeber the good times
I'm sorry those memories aren't mine
I must have been living someone else's life

Interesting. I liked it

Let me know if I have a chance
You just turned around and laughed
Told me, maybe you can maybe you can't
There are so many things I want you to know
I need to tell you I love before I go
But all that comes out is, I love your show


i liked it, sounds good
#4
Hey, I liked it. I think maybe you should try to make it not quite as literal. Describe things more, let the song leave some things to our imagination; you don't need to tell us everything.

I thought the rhythm/rhyme scheme of it was cool, kinda kept me off-balance which was cool.
Keep it up.
- PunkFish