#1
For those who don't know, a K-hole is an experience acheived through doing too much Ketamine - a hallucinogenic, dissociative, painkiller. A k-hole is when you have a complete out-of-body experience and physically black out while mentally you're traveling through different dimensions.

Spoken:
Little did she know
She was on the verge
A syllogism that ends in sin,
Her logic to be purged

Little did she know
He was always with her
An incubus with much desire
Like that of frankincense and Mir

Little did she know
It was all phantasmagoric
She was in a dream
Her sanity was sick

Little did she know
She had eaten way too much
There?s no going back
When you had 3 grams for lunch
-----------------------------------------

v1
Alice down the K-hole
Alice in space
Alice in the mirror
Alice's melted face

chorus
Stuck in the k-hole
The devil's in your nose
Snow white in her dreams
White powder on black clothes
Stuck in the K-hole
The devil's in your veins
Another night of revelry
Of reverie unreined.

v2
Swimming in the ocean
The water reflects the sun
But she'd rather be
Swim in the meadows
Smelling cabaret nuns

v3
Alice see her breath
Like so many cigarettes
She's talking to her house again
Saying,
"Asbestos and pesticides
It sounds like my lullaby"

CHORUS

v4
Coming out of her hole
Alice in the clutches of chagrin
Cat's and dogs meow and bark respectively
The blood under her nostrils stinks of sin
She rises to decree:

(spoken)
Trips and visions are only memories
Ones I wish to cultivate again
but now's the time for revelations
To join the ranks of courtesans
Now's the time for patience
And to aquire brand new skin

CHORUS

(I'll do a crit for a crit. Thanks in advanced for any comments)
#2
Spoken part: might be a little too long unless in the song you plan on speaking at a normal speed rather than musically. Also, the first and the last stanza in the spoken part seem cohierent (4give spelling) while the middle two seem to be "cliff-hanging" stanzas that confused me.

V1: although i now 1st hand what you mean by "melted face" in the mirror i thought that was a little cheesy, try rewording it.

Chorus: nearly perfect. the snow white part doesnt fit with the lines surrounding it, but it would fit more towards the end of the chorus

V2: very random, (although i know drugs produce these thoughts) same with V3

i love how you ended the song, like through the experience she has learned somthing valuable. to sum it up, i would re write the 2nd and 3rd verse. but thats just my opinion.

thanks for the crit by the way
When the power of love conquers the love of power, the world will know peice- hendrix
#3
nicely done. sufficiently trippy and literary. the only problem i have with it is the line "The devil's in your nose/Snow white in her dreams/White powder on black clothes". Its a bit blunt and takes away from the rest. other than that, i really enjoyed this.