#1
hey.. whats goin on everyone?

dont b too harsh its my first attempt at writing a song, just some advice on what could change.. and could b added.. keep in mind its not the full thing just part.. up till chorus: song is called At least we're still friends.

This day has come and
it?s now or never.
To part our own ways
To lead separate lives.

To hold you one last time,
To give those lips one more caress

But at least we?re still friends

There?s nothing I wouldn?t say
There?s nothing I wouldn?t do
But at least we?re still friends
With my sunshine lost
there is no sufficient gain,
But at least we?re still friends.
#2
haha good..

idk why but it reminds me of "seperate ways "by journey
lmao
ESP LTD Viper-50
Dean AK48
Marshall MG-15
Peavey Sheffield 4x12
Peavey Transtube Supreme Head
Zoom 505 II
#4
ah man..

id say its easier to write guitar parts and then put lyrics to it...

that way your lyrics can still go with the melody to the guitar.
ESP LTD Viper-50
Dean AK48
Marshall MG-15
Peavey Sheffield 4x12
Peavey Transtube Supreme Head
Zoom 505 II
#5
yeah same thats what me and my friend are trying to do now, we got good bass and guitar goin just need some goddamn lyrics
RED BLOOD HOT SUGAR CHILI SEX PEPPERS MAGIK
#6
Hey man, just to let you know this thread will probably be closed. The reason is that you cannot have the thread title being 'first song.' It would be in your best interest to delete this thread and simply repost it with the title to the song so it wont be deleted.
Can You Fill In The Blanks?
#7
slayer should rite lyrics 1st, hmm, then the lyrics wouldnt ever sounds so out of place <cough>reign of blood<cough>, not that slayer r bad or anytihng but...

anyways, i like it, i just like the overall feel of the lyrics, although i still think it has a room for some improvement,

With my sunshine lost
there is no sufficient gain,
But at least we?re still friends.

i found this bit very good, the contrast between loss and gain.


crit 4 crit, the link for my 1st ever attempt is in my sig, crit it pleasey
PSN: Noverion