#1
hey guys, last month i got some comments that suggested that i elevate my writing style - thanx for the crits. i've tried to compromise with this song by keeping some of my old style while "elevating" some of my writing a bit. Im interested to hear what you guys think . . .

Higher Ground:

verse
Been searching way too long
On this dusty, dried out earth
Nothing but splintered thoughts
Just trying to find my worth

The wind scatters the ashes
From ideas of the past
Three inches of dust and dirt
That I knew would never last

Its dark outside
But I can still see the light
From the stars just out of reach
Piercing straight through the night

chorus
Im seeking
Some higher ground
To rise above
Change lost to found

Im looking for
That better place
Open my arms
For the embrace

verse
Alone with my thoughts
As a cool breeze drifts by
My back to the world
Empty gaze to the sky

Darkness envelopes me
Bringing with it, a certain peace
Hidden from time and thought
From its grip, no release

Im held in one place
As heaven blurs and fades
Stretched infinately before me
Painted a familiar shade

chorus

bridge
What exactly am I looking for?
There always has to be something more

chorus
#2
Good job, I do have one suggestion though. Since everything is very metaphorical you should have a very non metaphorical bridge (I mean a little more a statement then a question) so that you get a nice balance. You could just take the bridge you have and extend it so that you have the same meaning but other words.
#3
choose a different name, higher ground was done by stevie wonder and then covered by red hot chilis
RED BLOOD HOT SUGAR CHILI SEX PEPPERS MAGIK
#4
Nice writing. I noticed a few spots seemed a bit cliched but overall it was fairly original. Also, I agree with cazz that your bridge should be there more to define the rest of the song instead of just to ask more questions. Overall though, the writing was good and there was a nice balance of simplicity and metaphore.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=405800
Crit if you want.
Thanks
#5
yeah i liked it and i actually think u should keep the bridge, i like the questions (no disrespect to the guy im contradicting), good writing man

can you crit mine? Found Myself latest, in the sig
#6
thanx guys - any suggestions for a different title?
i was hesitant about naming this piece "higher ground" because of what KiWiSoJu pointed out
#7
Good job. Very interesting. Not much for me to crit here. Maybe your title can be From Lost To Found. Good job. plz crit mine.
#8
Don't change the title, you can't say that you havn't ever seen two songs with the same name...