#1
Yep... another one... i got rather symbolic with this one... hopefully it'll make you think, but not too much...

[Verse 1]
A harlot overcast Judgement
With me consumed by Avarice.
Surrendered all we knew for this.
Now we stand to face the Serpent.

[Chorus]
With reverance, Infernal Angel
Desolation, Mortification

[Verse 2]
Just a bleeding heart with broken wings.
Lost in wars raged by your kings.
The leviathan cries in Anguish.
And we fall to the ground with Languish.

[Chorus]
With reverance, Infernal Angel
Desolation, Mortification
Through agony, Now fallen ill
Abolished will be this fixation.

[Bridge]
No sins confessed
No reparation
The torrent of flame
Surrounds us with passion
For aeons we suffer
Lost in this hellfire
This inferno called love.
A lust now, mistaken.

[Chorus]
With reverance, Infernal Angel
Desolation, Mortification
Through agony, Now fallen ill
Abolished will be this fixation.

[Verse 3]
And now I repent
A true angel holds me
Above the red sea.


as they all say, crit for crit my good men

Cheers
Last edited by Ryioku at Aug 3, 2006,
#2
Is your display name based on Ikeda, Riyoko? Random question.

[Verse 1]
A harlot overcast Judgement
With me consumed by Avarice.
Surrendered all we knew for this.
Now we stand to face the Serpent.
Hmm. Thinking already, and I like it. It's a very well written intro, and I love the language and imagery. Also, it flows well.

[Chorus]
With reverance, Infernal Angel
Desolation, Mortification
Well, not much to say as it's very short. However, it's still good. So, there you have it. Oh, and shouldn't it be: "reverence?"

[Verse 2]
Just a bleeding heart with broken wings.
Lost in wars raged by your kings.
The leviathan cries in Anguish.
And we fall to the ground with Languish.
Still, you keep up with the beautiful language, imagery, and flow. Very nice. However the last line -and it may very well be due to my own ignorance- confuses me. Isn't "languish" a verb and as such, isn't it impossible to fall with it?

[Chorus]
With reverance, Infernal Angel
Desolation, Mortification
Through agony, Now fallen ill
Abolished will be this fixation.
Nice two lines that you added. Don't abolish the fixation though. Jeez. Harsh.

[Bridge]
No sins confessed
No reparation
The torrent of flame
Surrounds us with passion
For aeons we suffer
Lost in this hellfire
This inferno called love.
A lust now, mistaken.
This, again, is very well written and I love it. However, I like it a little less than the rest because it just says, "hey, this is what the song's about," when before it was just alluded to and "encrypted" perse with words that made you think to understand. Also, it seems simplistic compared to what's been shown thusfar.

[Chorus]
With reverance, Infernal Angel
Desolation, Mortification
Through agony, Now fallen ill
Abolished will be this fixation.

[Verse 3]
And now I repent
A true angel holds me
Above the red sea.
Very good ending.

as they all say, crit for crit my good men
Wha...what if they don't?

Cheers
Alright

haha. Anyway, my newsest is linked in my sig. Feel free.

Oh, and tell me if I pieced this together correctly: A ***** and a greedy man fell in love, went to hell, met the devil, he tried to end their "fixation" with one another, and then they were (or at least, it seems, one of them was) saved by an angel through ages of repent?

I feel like I have it wrong, but I don't understand why. then again, I'm asking you to verify my interpretation. So, obviously, I feel as though I got it right. haha.
#3
Thank yeh kindly

Reverence, yes... mispelling, its 3 am haha

Yeah Languish is a verb... meaning "To be or become weak or feeble; lose strength or vigor. " for those who didnt know... I used it in that way, to basically say that we're falling to the ground, losing our strength.

What's wrong with abolishing the fixation

Yeah i thought that same thing about the Bridge... I'll change it around a bit

Well you got it right because you took the time to think it over, and that way everyone wins!

but really, its about a greedy man who falls in love with a *****, and gave pretty much everything he had in his life for her. he did horrible things, ya know, sins and whatnot and didn't confess them, and they died, go to hell. he realises that he was blinded by lust and not love, and begins to repent, in time being saved by an angel.

the ***** stayed in hell.




of course, this is all from personal experience...


And again, thank yeh

edit: every time i'm on a forum someone asks me that same question haha... no my name is not based on that... i was just sitting there and the word came to me, i had never before even heard of anything sounding like it... and i thought i was being original.
Last edited by Ryioku at Aug 3, 2006,