#1
Hey all,
i'm new in here,
so here goes my first lyric
(I got hundreds actually)

It's called "My Child, The Groove",
and it was written for someone somewhere.


___My Child, The Groove___

No one can figure out
What's beating in your chest
I knew, but now I doubt...
black and white describe you best

Eventhough you're monochrome
standing tall and never fall
strum another perfect tone
and bring some color to us all

There are many shades of grey
But only two I don't detest
In your eyes they both display
that black and white describe us best ...
______________________
But all the drugs in this world, won't save her from herself!
#2
I like it. What is it about? thats it. nothing more nothing less.hi.
Peace WOODnotes homie G
#4
its sweet and short, it has a good topic, and i like how you use colors to describe her, it gives the reader/listener a really good sence of how the person's personalilty is, nice work, the only thing i would suggest is make it longer if you are planning to play it as a song
#5
No one can figure out
What's beating in your chest
I knew, but now I doubt...
black and white describe you best
Exceptional flow. You've got three lines with the exast same amount of syllables, the last with only one more, and an easy rhyme scheme. Bravo for that. Also, this is simple, but well done. I especially enjoyed the last line.

Eventhough you're monochrome
standing tall and never fall
strum another perfect tone
and bring some color to us all
The second line is...eh, in my opinion. The rest however, is good. I just don't like the end of the second line, "and never fall." It sounds forced. If it isn't a forced ending, then I would say it's a beginning that is grammatically incorrect. It should be STAND tall, and never fall. Also, there seems to be a general overuse of the "all" rhyme. However, that's not a big deal.

There are many shades of grey
But only two I don't detest
In your eyes they both display
that black and white describe us best ...
This is a bit hard to follow. It's a great idea, but the delivery seems to need work. My confusion lies in the third line. Are you reffering to the eyes as the two shades of gray, or are the two of you the two shades of gray? Also, I think it would be better if written "both of your eyes display." However, that's only with my rudimentary comprehension of what you were aiming for with that line.

It is a good piece all together though, and I loved the theme of black and white to describe the emotions - very creative.
#6
The song's actually about two people with sort of the same personality and that is not being able to see the different shades, being different emotions.
You're either happy or you're sad, you think something is gorgeous or it's hideous... it's either black or it's white.

The line "In your eyes they both display", is one of my favourite actually.
it's about me seeing the two shades of gray (black and white) that I don't detest in her eyes. She's looking at life through the two shades, she's living in a world where it's either black or white... saves time to make up your mind about some things.

hope it helps.
But all the drugs in this world, won't save her from herself!