#1
Inner Nothingness


Breaking through my outer core
You see my inner nothingness
You wonder how I survive
But you?re not the only one
As my joy fades I see that
I?m the nothing I?ve always feared


Constant confusion
Coursing through my blood red veins
Sweet nothing
Constant on mind
No joy
Forever haunting
My inner nothingness


Seeing myself in the water
Shows me how empty I?ve become
Wondering how I got here
As my life fades away
I?m the nothing I?ve always feared


Constant confusion
Coursing through my blood red veins
Sweet nothing
Constant on mind
No joy
Forever haunting
My inner nothingness


Screaming through my inner self
Interlocking in that which I?ve avoided
Hoping for one last moment of bliss
Before the end
So subtle
So soft
So gone?.
#3
i liked the first too, but liked the last stanza better, really good writing man, "so subtle/so soft/so gone..." thats awesome

one thing... for title, what if its changed to My Inner Nothingness? adding the My, thats my prsonal opinion its up to you

and thanx for your crit on mine.