#1
Pig
by Jacob H

Hey you,i think it's time for you to go now
always thought i could count on you
i believed for so long,how could i have been so blind?
I was blinded when your light hit my eyes,i guess i was
taken by surpise,it was all a
great big lie,a great big lie,great big lie

A WORK IN PROCESS.
Founder of The Reverend Maynard Club-save the carrots!
PM me or diminishedfaith to join.


PryingOpenMyThirdEye
#2
Crit for crit.
Founder of The Reverend Maynard Club-save the carrots!
PM me or diminishedfaith to join.


PryingOpenMyThirdEye
#3
Good writing, the first line reminded me of something personally, so it was easy to relate to. If this is supposed to be song (instead of poetry) its pretty short. The last line sounded like an ending though so Im not sure if your planning on workinmg around that or not. The writing was consistant and there werent any really flaws that I noticed.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=409480
This needs help. Thanks