#1
Hey, I made this song with my new Takamine GS330s just kinda to try out how it would sound in a recording. But I got really carried away with this song, and I think this is one of my BEST songs. Its a complete song, everything was done by including vocals and backing vocals as well as electric and acoustic guitars.

You can find it here:
http://dampwater.dmusic.com

its called The Hourglass

It took me a LOOONG time to finish and perfect this song( 3-4 hours each day on a 3 day basis), so i hope you guys enjoy this song. I'm REALLY proud of this one myself.

Please leave your crits, and I'll crit 4 crit if you leave a link.

Thanks
#2
nice song
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#3
Writing as I listen:

Intro guitar is excellent! Only word for it! Brilliant! Vocals are great. Dude this is fu*king awesome! I love your voice and the backing vocals rock! The only thing I dont like is the sudden stops during the verse or whatever. Lead guitar is good. Nice enough tone but It sounds like its being recorded from really far back if your know what I mean. The acoustic solo after the first bit of electric is really sweet. Sounds great Your style of guitar is great - Not overdone but still awesome! Dude your band could go really far! I would pay to hear this stuff! (Don't get any ideas :P) Overall: 10/10
#5
well, i dont wanna tab the whole thing (too lazy) , so i'll just give you the main acoustic riff thats in the intro and the chorus:
E----------------------------------------------------------
B-------------------------------5-------7------------------
G------------9--7h9----------7------7p5-----7-5h7p5-------
D--------7-----------7----77---7--------------------------7-5--
A-000-------------------------------------------------------------
E-------------------------------------------------------------------
  Am7 chord                Em chord
#6
Type while listening.

The levels are a bit on the high side.... very close to clipping. Watch the levels and bring them down to 0dB or a hair lower. I try to get right at 0dB on all of my recordings.

The distorted lead did not fit with the song for me.

Nice tone on your acoustic, even though its so close to clipping.

The vox harmonies were nice and crisp.

Drop the distorted lead and try something a little cleaner there. I have nothing against distortion at all, but I feel that it doesn't fit with the message being conveyed by this song... except the bend you have at the end.

#7
rather smashing! love the acoustic lead, sounds really eagles i think.

nice vocals, love the harmonies...still very eagles,

mmm i don't about the distorted lead guitar...the acoustic sounded better
very nice guitar work in the chorus...it all goes...the next distorted lead solo sounds better, i think because it has less in it and flows with the music better. nice one!

overall, a really good song
Orophin
#8
This is very good quality recording (save for the electric), but I have to agree with some above. The pause doesn't work for me at all. The playing and singing are all top notch. The distorted guitar would work better were it "closer" (see post above) and had a little less distortion, and perhaps a little more delay. And maybe play that lick first lick an octave lower. Really the first lick is the only thing I don't like. The rest is okay. Oh, and you clip a little on the wah part. The distorted guitar is the only thing I take issue with. Otherwise very nice.
#9
Woah - guitar work is excellent. Pause didn't work for me either - song would sound a lot better without it. Your voice sounds pretty good - the harmonies are top notch. The singing at 1:50 (is that the chorus) is brilliant. Do not like the electric at all - it's so severe for the song. Keep it acoustic - that's the beauty of it. The electric solo at 3:30 still fits in better - but I dunno I think maybe it'd be better without? Or it could be because I love the acoustic on it's own and im not a huge fan of the electric haha. Oh well.. seriously good job - you can tell you spent a great deal of time on this - time well spent I say.


If you have time... https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=403693
#11
Thanks for all your replies guys. But, due to popular request and an instinct from me, I decided to remove the first electric guitar solo and replaced it with the main riff with octaves (an acoustic solo didn't fit), it kinda didn't fit like most said, but i really liked the outro solo, so i kept that. And i kept the pauses; since that was actually one of my favorite part in the verse, but meh. So check out the slightly edited version, i guess :p Same Place http://dampwater.dmusic.com (just incase you were wondering)

Either, thanks alot for your crits, keep em comin.
#12
I actually loved it. Sounded professional. This probably isnt a helpful post, but I liked it as it was.
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#13
Very nice, the instruments are very well done. The vocals are also very done when they have two tracks going, I like it alot. I think it needs some drums though... Other then that its really good, thats all I can think of suggesting, keep up the good work!
#14
This is really freakin good. I love the acoustic sound, great voice......Tone down the electric solo a bit, it doesnt really fit with the song. Keep it acoustic and add drums. I'm not a fan of the stops but maybe you could keep the stops and add a filler with drums?

mine - https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=408712
#15
I really like the beginning guitars, the song fits in well together. Your vocals should be compressed and made louder to sound more even [not louder and lower at some parts]. It's nice to know people from Egypt are still forming bands :P I'm in Jordan here... We're missing a bassist and drummer for our band... But yeah we'll get through it :P lol

Al
- aL -
#16
Apparently, you listen to what othes have to offer. The second set was spot on as far as the levels went. The first acoustic solo needs to be a bit more complex, but that's my opinion.

The second lead (distorted) should be changed to something a little cleaner... maybe a bluesy type of crunch... but again, that's my opinion.

The distorted bend at the end makes a nice statement and I would leave that in.

#17
Wow man, that was amazing. I really like it. It sounds like folk-rock, I almost expected a mandolin in there somewhere haha. I actually really liked the stops, the first time I heard it, it caught me off guard and made the song more interesting. I also love the solo, when the solo comes in it made me think of hotel california for some reason. You have a great voice too.

Crit my bands song? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=407719
#18
Quote by Bill43
Apparently, you listen to what othes have to offer. The second set was spot on as far as the levels went. The first acoustic solo needs to be a bit more complex, but that's my opinion.

The second lead (distorted) should be changed to something a little cleaner... maybe a bluesy type of crunch... but again, that's my opinion.

The distorted bend at the end makes a nice statement and I would leave that in.



Well, I had a conscious change of heart, I thought the first electric solo actually did cramp up the song and kinda rushed in the heavier part of the song, but I kinda planned out the first solo to be a prequel to the long one in the outro. But after deep deciding, i thought to let it go, it didnt sound too good . So I tried to put in a complex acoustic solo in its place, but it sounded iffy cuz there was an acoustic solo right after it, so i decided to put a simple twist on the main riff.

And yea, thats why I listen to UG crits, to try to better the song. But honestly, i love the last distorted solo the way it is, it kinda gives the song a heavier side at the end imo, so i'll just keep it.
#19
Sorry to double post but, my computer freezes when i try to edit big posts like the above posted; anyways...

To Al_469, i used to have a band in Egypt (Cairo has a decent rock scene) but now, I moved to USA, i had a band here, but this song is just me and my acoustic.

Thanks for all your crits, i've gotten back to all of your crits.

Thanks for your feedback, keem them coming.
#21
Not bad. I do like the intro. I agree with duggyrocks about the sudden stops in the verse. Lead acoustic reminds me of the mandolin in REM's Losing my Religion. Is it just me, or does the acoustic drop out in volume towards the end? I'm sorry to say that I hate the tone on the electric solo. It just seems weak and thin (except the last two bent notes with reverb on them). What did you use by way of effects for that solo? Overall, quite nice. It could have gone emo (I like when songs tread the line and don't go emo), and your song did not go emo. Yeah. Cool.

My song
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=6419057#post6419057
Last edited by fleaflicker182 at Aug 7, 2006,
#22
First thing, even if I usually don't like acoustics and I'm probably the biggest distortion fan around, I liked a lot the tone of your acoustic. The tone you chose for the electric lead doesn't fit it very well. IMO, you need to make some kind of a little bridge or interlude to make bass and drums come out in that point (to back the solo, I mean), or change the tone... a marshall-like crunch with not much gain, some reverb and a lot of delay would be the best choice IMO. Also, I think you should rerecord the vocal harmonies, because I could hear througout the song that you can sing very well, but it seemed to me that in the harmonies you went slightly out of key. This is all I have to crit, for the rest it's a really great song and has this kinda mood which I liked.
#23
I think the intro was a bit too long for this kind of song. Good singing though. Try to put the vocals a bit louder in the mix. Don't really like the sudden stops on rhytym guitar. Liked the first guitar solo. Man, loving the chorus melody... IMO the distorted solo was kinda out of place. They never sound good with acoustic songs, no matter how well they're played. All in all, sweet job!
#24
I like it, a lot. The vocals kinda get lost though, I think they have to almost be listened for throughout some of it. Good solos throughout. Good structure, and nice tone. I really don't have anything else to say.
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#25
this is strange, not only do I have a song that I wrote called the hourglass, but I've also done a suspicious minds cover. cool.

anyway. hourglass sounds realllllly good. guitar sounds beautiful and really catchy. the singing is really tight and the harmonies fit nicely. reminds me very much of some of the newer acoustic chili peppers stuff (desecration smile, etc). Good solo.. cept theres a part where you clip I think. I love this, man. I would listen to it regularly. good job

if you have time,

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=409952
If you expect a kick in the balls and get a slap in the face, it's a victory.
-Ardal O'Hanlon

ME \/
http://fwa.dmusic.com
#27
It's really great. I think it would sound a bit better if the lead vocalist would stop singing while the back up vocals are happening.
#28
Wow...i like the intro a lot. The vocals sound great, but are a bit quiet though, maybe you could bring those up a bit. The harmonies are good but the backup sounds louder than the lead. I really loved when you would totally stop everything for just a split second and then pick it back up...
I think i hear one timing issue at around 2:18 but that's it. Vocals get a bit pitchy towards the end as well, but here comes the electric lead bit and i love it. Overall, great job, and great song.

Mine = https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=411917
My Solo Stuff

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