#1
Here are some lyrics that my band's drummer and I have been writing, they're a work in progress, and with a sort of an Elliott Smith-style guitar. I need a few more verses, but I just want to get UG's opinion on how it sonds so far:


(untitled as of now)


(beginning, guitar only)

You'll never get ahold of me,
Because I know I'll make it through.
I won't be another victim to you.

(instrumental verse, drums kick in)

I know it, and you know it, too.
You thought nothing could hurt you.
Well look at you now, and where you stand,
Between this gun and your so-called band.

You know you've got to face your fears,
Do it for laughs or for tears.
But you've got to do it now.
Now you've got it down.

(instrumental verse)

Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.


(End)


Any feedback is appreciated, along with some tips
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you are indeed mr. awesome.

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eckmann88 you sir are a god.

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Oh, you're so damn shallow, eckmann88. They have nice boobs, don't they?

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good job eckman, seriously, that last one alone would give me an eternal erection!

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#2
"Between this gun and your so-called band." somehow reminded me of Dimebag...

Anyways, I really liked this one. It brings you down to Earth, a real ego-killer. Definetly put up some new verses and such, I'd love to see them.
#3
Quote by eckmann88

I know it, and you know it, too.
You thought nothing could hurt you.
Well look at you now, and where you stand,
Between this gun and your so-called band.




i like this part a lot. i love where youre going with it, keep it up
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#4
i love it its well writting but you gotta be careful about that title, the mods might let it slide cuz the songs untitled but that can get you closed...but yes really good writing over all

edit: you might wanna lengthen it though and umm why not call it Hold On?
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I've had the tiny ones in my mouth and accidentally swallowed a bit of the liquid, you should be all right.


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just dont get it in your eyes and wear gloves
#5
Quote by jimmiew
i love it its well writting but you gotta be careful about that title, the mods might let it slide cuz the songs untitled but that can get you closed...but yes really good writing over all

edit: you might wanna lengthen it though and umm why not call it Hold On?

Yea I'm gonna add a few more verses when me and the drummer (also does songwriting, kinda like Lennon/McCartney minus the success) get together tomorrow.
Quote by SynGates7X

you are indeed mr. awesome.

Quote by Duane_Allman
eckmann88 you sir are a god.

Quote by SavageNights
Oh, you're so damn shallow, eckmann88. They have nice boobs, don't they?

Quote by DraketheFake
good job eckman, seriously, that last one alone would give me an eternal erection!

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