#1
This is one that I've been working on recently, really the only decent lyrics I've done in a few weeks. Some parts aren't quite as refined as I'd like them, but thats why this forum is here. Crit for crit, as always.

EDIT: I changed some things in accordance with suggestions you guys gave me.

"Junior Year"

my good friend i'm missing you
it's been to long since school was through
remember when we played cards at lunch
we need to get back with the bunch

and have a

party (inviting everyone)
party (why don't you come)
party
it's our freshman year

We'll plug in our amps and rock till dawn
have that whole crowd singin' along
when the sun goes down i'll take my guitar
and you and I will sing to the stars

at our

party (everybody's laughin')
party (with TP trashin')
party
its our sophomore year

[acoustic interlude]
when darkness falls down around you
i'll be someone to hold on to
sweetie there's no need to worry
our friends are here but their vision's blurry
so let's go and let's join the crowd

let's join this

party (everybody's laughin')
party (with TP trashin')
party (farewell to everyone)
party (look out and see the sun)
it's our junior year
Last edited by jdreed08 at Aug 7, 2006,
#2
Awesome, what style is it by the way?

and here's one of mine: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=408559
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#3
really interesting and multi-genral (i think thats a word) good idea with the acoustic ending but you might wanna work on flow in later songs but other than a few problems with that its pretty cool and i REALLY like the idea of it
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#4
hmm, its alright. sounds like actually singing it would give it alot. Not really impressed. thanks for throwing it out though.
#5
It's good to see someone writing something simplistic, uplifting and positive without any desire to be over prentencious or deep. Makes a nice change, the themes of happiness and of friendship are often overlooked in this forum.

Couple of things about the passage; I think you should change 'party like from sophmore/freshman year' changing the 'like from' (which sound awkward together), to 'it's our' like you've used in the final stanza. Secondly, and this is picky but I really don't have much to criticise, the line 'party (say bye to everyone)' could be changed to 'farewell to everyone' - 'say bye' does't really fit the grand reunification of your high school friends that the rest of this song promises this party to be.

Hope this has helped, please check out song in my sig. Thanks.
#6
i agree with jack about the concept of the song. I personally like it a lot. Acoustics are a weak point for me . Keep the good songs flowin. 9/10
Songs working on :

Nitelife
#7
don't see anything wrong with it. 10/10
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#8
I really like the up-beat feel of the chorus!I gather that it's a punk song?I really like it!
#11
nothing at all wrong with it . its got a fun party feel to it . or maybe i just read that word so much its suck in my head now . but its really good . keep it up