#1
The Sacrafice (working title, incomplete)


I?ll touch your hips with rough fingerprints
Leave you with some evidence
of my unwelcome stay
darkness breaks on the road
and a dull grey replaces
that soft yellow glow
I am home


Here comes high tide and I
I try my best not to get carried under
But these corals know my number
I took the ticket so long ago
And I felt safe with you by me
But the hourglass is empty
And I?m next in line to be
swallowed by the sea


I?ll spare you the lecture
if you can focus for a second
I never meant to cause all this to happen
I have spent too much time by myself
But its not too late
We can be saved
All we need are some well placed apologies
One true-hearted sigh
A step back from this volcano
And a bottle of cheap wine


a dream I won't have
cries out my name
but it?s drowned out
by your beating heart
things will never be the same
things are always the damn same

I?ll spare you the lecture
if you can focus for a second
I never meant to cause all this to happen
I have spent too much time by myself
But its not too late
We can be saved
All we need are some well placed apologies
One true-hearted sigh
A step back from this volcano
And a bottle of cheap wine
Last edited by Jandy at Aug 6, 2006,
#2
Pretty good. But sacrifice is spelt sacrifice.
Quote by tommyt
you see what youve done draken youve unleashed airplay upon unsuspecting teens, damn you and your self righteous reportyness


buttsecks?

"Cookies? Who said you could eat *my* cookies?!" - Arnold Schwarzenegger
#4
I really enjoyed reading this song. I thought it flowed excellently and the words you used painted a good picture in my mind. My favorite part was the chorus. (The stanza that repeats, I'm guessing). Anyways, keep up the good work.

Crit mine please

Goddess
#5
interesting, love the metaphors just might wanna work on the flow a little bit
Quote by GibsonPuppeteer
I've had the tiny ones in my mouth and accidentally swallowed a bit of the liquid, you should be all right.


Quote by xDie_Romanticx
just dont get it in your eyes and wear gloves
#7
I think it's just me but somehow the lyrics didn't really 'click' except for the chorus which i think is awesome but don't mind me i have weird taste sometimes :p
#8
I really liked the chorus, its good, the verses were fine too but think u gotta work on'em a lil...
crit mine