#1
This is sorta actually a recent event that happened. First draft, I don't know if I like it or not, but I doubt it will go further than paper anyways. I also left out any repetition. I didn't see the point unless it was being sung.

I put your number
On the back of the love note he wrote
Saying he loves me
He dosn't get that I don't want him
But it won't ever be
Let's move past that

We sat and watched boats
On the picnic table at the park
You hate the sea gulls
You wanted to throw lots of rocks at them
I thought that was dull
So I kissed you

I put your number
On the back of the love note he wrote
Saying he loves me
He dosn't get that I don't want him
But nevermind that
It won't ever be

Started to have fun
Figured we were friends with benefits
It became different
I found out that you are not able to
Make a commitment
So I left you

I took your number
And stuck it in the gerberator
#2
sounds like arctic monkeys
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#4
thats was a horrible song im sorry but like were you drunK? cuz thats when i write stupid **** like that
I live in north Texas

I play basketball

I play guitar and sing

I like all types of music

I am open to new music


thats prety much all you need to know
#6
^lol im sorry but i cringed when i read this. Sounds like a 12 twelve year old suffering form something writing it, but hey you know...
HEY IT DOES HAVE A BEAT LIKE THE ARCTIC MONKEYS!!!

PS-nothing realy wrong, but im sorry...in the imagery part, youve got it, just try to use more colorful words...you know, use a thesaurous. It has great potential.

Can you check out mine? the links in my sig

thx
#7
Haha I know, sall good. The only part that "naturally" came was "I put your number, on the back of the love note he wrote." hence as it is what I actually did haahaha. But hey I don't put words to music, so it's just a thing to waste time =p

Sure I'll check yours out.
#8
That one isn't bad, I've definitely read better, but not bad.

Crit one of mine?
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