#1
A poem...

?The Fundamental Flaw of Self.?

I held you captive in a little glass jar,
And watched curiously as you struggled;
You glowed so eloquently, so beautifully.
Transfixed by fate?s intoxicating twist,
I was enamored by your desperate dance.
But my carelessness caused your suffocation;
Over and over again, I witnessed your death.
A horrible revelation then fell upon my eyes,
For with each final breath taken, a resurrection!
Fearful, my hand trembled, my mind derailed;
Yet, I locked down the lid tighter still.
And with an ugly realization, I faced myself,
Only to find this is my fundamental flaw;
A self inflicted eternal damnation of happiness.
I wish a sincere apology would suffice;
For every love and every hate I?ve held captive?
?Could I die with you?
I am no better than you.
May I come with you?
Let me go with you.?
#2
This is some nice work

I really loved the imagery

And its so original

You've taken something and turned it into something else

but stil made it sound amazing

great stuff

mines in my signiture if u want to take a look...its the Another Alkaline Injection one
Blah.
#5
I really like it. The imagery, the word choice, all of it.
The only minor thing I found was that "A horrible relevation then fell upon my eyes" is worded awkwardly. But other than that, I think you've created something really original and interesting.