#1
Make a joke
Hope they crack a smile
Because you know that you just crossed the line

When you allow,
Society to take things to far
You become just as bad as them

Will they ever learn...

Lets not tolerate intolerance
Show ?em we?re not gonna take it!

Theres a line to be left uncrossed
Which is crossed all to much
And just shows stupidity

Lets not tolerate intolerance
Show ?em we?re not gonna take it!

Its just there insecurity
That others could be better
Because theyre not the same

Lets not tolerate intolerance
Show ?em we?re not gonna take it!


work in progress but i kinda liked the chorus so i posted it to see if there were ideas from u guys cuz u always seem to make my songs better
Quote by GibsonPuppeteer
I've had the tiny ones in my mouth and accidentally swallowed a bit of the liquid, you should be all right.


Quote by xDie_Romanticx
just dont get it in your eyes and wear gloves
#3
what?
Quote by GibsonPuppeteer
I've had the tiny ones in my mouth and accidentally swallowed a bit of the liquid, you should be all right.


Quote by xDie_Romanticx
just dont get it in your eyes and wear gloves
#4
I don't like it very much. I mean rascism and hate is bad and all, but i hate all this frickin' whining about it. I think if someone says a rascist joke it doesn't mean theyre a rascist and if you laugh it doesnt mean you are either.
#5
I know you're a great writer mate, but i can sum this up in one word.

BORING

okay, the verses are saying the same thing just with different words, now maybe you can branch off on these a bit, maybe make em longer and more specific, maybe experiences you've had or a specific stereotype or something. The chorus is good though so you've got that good.

Could you check out mine? its the first link in my sig. thx
#6
well see that was the point of the crossing the line thing, i laugh at the majority of rascial jokes, but some are just to far
Quote by GibsonPuppeteer
I've had the tiny ones in my mouth and accidentally swallowed a bit of the liquid, you should be all right.


Quote by xDie_Romanticx
just dont get it in your eyes and wear gloves
#7
^ oh i get it now, youre emphasizing that one part.

Also, dont wanna seem like a selfish prick, but are you gonna check out mine?
#8
One minor grammatical error, it's "their" insecurity not "there" insecurity. I like the idea but it doesn't really breakout from other anti-intolerance songs out there. But I still like it, I applaud everyone that has an open mind. One more thing, the title has to go. Personally, I don't like it. However, good job, spread the word.
And I would really appreciate it if you crit mine.
Before Eternity's Lost
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=410521