#1
my friends lyrics....

Waste me



Verse 1:

Overwhelmed, by the empty heads

Shot the skulls, but nothing happened

****ING ME UP AGAIN

Waste it, paste it on the windows

But I dont want to bother

****ING WITH MY HEAD

All the ever happens

The cycle starts again



Chorus:

Waste my life like plastic

Stick me in the ground
**** me up you ****ing spastic

Just ****ING WASTE ME

Waste your life like cheap wine

Fester on the street

Take your time, I have plenty

Before you try, TRY TO STEAL MY MIND




Verse 2:

Cornered and restrained, lock me away

Straight jacket, mind ****s, schizoid psycho drugs

INJECT, SWALLOW, DOSED

Twitching in the corner, paranoid waste, waste me

Talking through your ass again, Ill never ****ing recover

RETALIATE, REMOVED, ENCLOSED

Incarcerate, incinerate my remains

Perforated sanity, sadistic morality



Interlude:

Got no mind, no brain remains

I dont mind, Ive died again

Youll see me in hell

Ill ****ing haunt you forever as well

WASTE ME, WASTE ME, WASTE ME, WASTE ME

I know Im crazy, you will be too. Tolerance is a virtue, BUT IM NO HERO
#2
Hey.
I would suggest you tell your friend to solidify their ideas a little more before they dive into the song. It seems like they basically just keep saying the same thing over again. It's difficult to get a sense of a logical progression of ideas or a story with just words yelled. Also, the cussin' is fine if you need it. But I feel like it was used to make the song seem more intense, instead of the song being intense already and having the swearing compliment or illustrate the feeling you created. In my opinion, swearing should illustrate the passion of something you've already discussed, not become the passion, but that's just me.

The best line to me was "waste my life like plastic". I liked that. I liked the ideas it created of melting consumerism down into goo; it was cool. It was also refreshing because it finally said something other than the idea of being crazy and mind-controlled.

Anyway, hope this helps, I'm not sure I made many suggestions, but, just tell your friend to take some more time making a good story, then we'll feel the emotion and energy behind it, but take your time, don't force it on us.
Cheers
- PunkFish
#3
cheers! beacuse in our opinion we though tht the cursing was just used in an attemp tto make the song aggressive rather than hae a 'logical' purpose if u get what i mean. th trouble in his lyrics is he just tries to be plain violent a times,

does anyone agree??
#4
punkfish is right about the swearing^^, but i get what ur saying^, it is probably too agressive 4 my taste, but come to think about it, i'd probly like it as a song,

can u crit mine? its in sig
#5
I'm not a big fan off swearing in songs. If you want a dark song (not really my taste) just sit and write with raw emotion rather then just adding swear words to make the mood seem darker.
#6
cheers. this guy also have a tendencies to 'rip off' other bands blatantly (if you know the songs....) in his lyrics, has anyone noticed it in this? i know he uses slipknot and stones sour's phrases frequently but as im not a fan i dont notice. lol