#1
suggestions would be helpful
thanks

oh i wish my lips could say something to make ya
come around again.
yes my hair is messy
welcome to my world,
it's population one.
but you could come

so take it or leave it,
thats just who I am
might be hard to believe it,
but you got to understand.

And I just wish my mind could open up to you,
so you could understand.
sometimes my thought weigh me down,
but they're bull**** now
that your around

so take it or leave it
thats just what I am
you may never want to believe it,
but I know you understand

I wish my body could show yah,
what you mean to me,
the only tools I have,
are this paper,
and pen,
so I'm writing it in song

so take it or leave it
thats just who I am
may be hard to believe it
but you will understand.
Don't It Make You Smile???
#2
The first verse is great, I really like it, but the chorus leaves something to be desired. I'm not sure how I would like it, but I know that's not it, sorry. Its just to... cheesy? I dunno, go back to the drawing bored on that bit. The rest of the song is good though.

Crit for crit? My new one, "Acid Rain", is up, so here's the link: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=6427621#post6427621 Thanks!