#1
okay well i just wrote this song last night ...and i put a little spin on it...its kinda a guessing game for the title ..see if you can figure it out.....


those six letters i dispise
are coming even faster then I can predict
the path behind me seems soo clear now
but yet i keep going forward
faster and faster my wheels keep turning
memories seem so far
and I can't go back no reverse


(chorus)
right, left, straight, never behind
this crossroads is blowing my mind
and all i want is to go back
and the hands of the clock keep ticking
no time to spare
even tho im only 16
the dawn seems like its on me


I hate goodbye
but there are no locking doors in life
things walk in just as fast as out
so hold on its a shakey ride
dont take your friends for granted
because theycould be gone in a instant


right, left, straight, never behind
this crossroads is blowing my mind
and all i want is to go back
and the hands of the clock keep ticking
no time to spare
even tho im only 16
the dawn seems like its on me (2x)


why can't i decide what to do
maybe cause the answer can ruin my life
or maybe I'm afraid of........??????
#2
Quote by namelessfaces05
okay well i just wrote this song last night ...and i put a little spin on it...its kinda a guessing game for the title ..see if you can figure it out.....


those six letters i dispise
are coming even faster then I can predict
the path behind me seems soo clear now
but yet i keep going forward
faster and faster my wheels keep turning
memories seem so far
and I can't go back no reverse
Nice line here, the six letters part was a nice touch, kind of seems like what? the persons life is going to fast or hes losing control.


(chorus)
right, left, straight, never behind
this crossroads is blowing my mind
and all i want is to go back
and the hands of the clock keep ticking
no time to spare
even tho im only 16
the dawn seems like its on me
Hmmm...kinda weak chorus, but im guessing that he thinks hes growing up too fast, and the "this crossroads is" should be "these crossroads are", but thats only grammar.


I hate goodbye
but there are no locking doors in life
things walk in just as fast as out
so hold on its a shakey ride
dont take your friends for granted
because theycould be gone in a instant
This line is pretty deep and shallow at the same time, i like the message your saying here, but you could have gone more into it to explain it, but good.


right, left, straight, never behind
this crossroads is blowing my mind
and all i want is to go back
and the hands of the clock keep ticking
no time to spare
even tho im only 16
the dawn seems like its on me (2x)


why can't i decide what to do
maybe cause the answer can ruin my life
or maybe I'm afraid of........??????
Hmmm...afraid of making a bad decidion so he doesnt make one at all?


Good job here...the flow is good, and it raises a few questions even if its a little vague sometimes.


would you check out mine? id appreciate if you did the first one in my sig.
thx
#3
its pretty good, you have some really awesome lines in there (the "six letters" thing was a great bit to add!) though, i think another stanza to support the chorus would make it sound a bit more completed.

pleeze check out mine! OBEY and Black Sunday Morn(ing)
#4
spermy ermmy . wadup bro ?

those six letters i dispise
are coming even faster then I can predict
the path behind me seems soo clear now
but yet i keep going forward
faster and faster my wheels keep turning
memories seem so far
and I can't go back no reverse
change the last line to . i cant go back theres no reverse, the first line is prolly the best of the whole song


right, left, straight, never behind
this crossroads is blowing my mind
and all i want is to go back
and the hands of the clock keep ticking
no time to spare
even tho im only 16
the dawn seems like its on me
it should be . these crossroads are blowing my mind . the last line needs something . ill tell u what it is when i think of it

I hate goodbye
but there are no locking doors in life
things walk in just as fast as out
so hold on its a shakey ride
dont take your friends for granted
because theycould be gone in a instant
change it to . things walk out just as fast as they walk in . makes a better picture

why can't i decide what to do
maybe cause the answer can ruin my life
or maybe I'm afraid of........??????
not to shabby . needs a lil work

and the song is about how big of a loser u are . and u have no friends correct ? just playin bro . not a bad song . work wit it a bit more and itll be good . and crit my song . this ghost will always be around