#1
this is another, amazingly long, song that i have recently finished - greatly inspired by Flogging Molly, so, in parts it may sound choppy, but its the way its sung that makes it flow...now i just wish i could sing like Dave King.

____________________________________________


Oh, we fight from dawn
And through the day
I know this isn't right
It's not God's aim
(pause)
And yet I continue on...
For my enemy's not gone!
(pause)
And if I shant make it
Through the night
Remember me, my love
Remember you were right!

Oh, these sad songs we sing
Songs I hate to hear
The joy to which we used to drink
Has long disappeared

And on this dark day
On which all
Shall pray
We bow our heads
And cry
As they turn away

Thousands, they flock
To come and greive...
Oh!...
This is Black Sunday Morning
Thousands, they fear
They all disappear
On this Black Sunday Morning

Startled this morning
And wanted to shout
Well after sun-set
We'll all go out
Wipe away the tears
That were wept
(pause)
And even though
His death not be in vein
We all still morn
His name engarved
And all cry out
For poor little Jonny
Wasn't even born!

Oh, these sad songs we sing
Songs I hate to hear
The joy to which we used to drink
Has long disappeared

Now I know this world
Yet not why I live
I can only hope
That I recieve from what I give
To wake up next morning
And find myself well
But to fall back asleep
And plunge into Hell!

Oh, these sad songs we sing
Songs I hate to hear
The joy to which we used to drink
Has long disappeared

And on this dark day
On which all
Shall pray
We bow our heads
And cry
As they turn away

Thousands, they flock
To come and greive...
Oh!...
This is Black Sunday Morning
Thousands, they fear
They all disappear
On this Black Sunday Morning

(guitar solo)

Oh, the crowd did applause
Then down came the rain
The cold drops of moisture
Washed away my pain
And as I sat up
The storm began to clear
I remembered my promise
And soon began to fear

Oh, these sad songs we sing
Songs I hate to hear
The joy to which we used to drink
Has long disappeared

I fell to the ground
You there next to me
I opened my eyes
And seissed to see
(pause)
And as the fight still remains
Blood splahes my face
My life does drain
And as thoughts of you grow near
Images before me
My eye sheds a tear

Oh, these sad songs we sing
Songs I hate to hear
The joy to which we used to drink
Has long disappeared

And on this dark day
On which all
Shall pray
We bow our heads
And cry
As they turn away

Thousands, they flock
To come and greive...
Oh!...
This is Black Sunday Morning
Thousands, they fear
They all disappear
On this Black Sunday Morning

(guitar soloing while lyrics continue)

Oh, these sad songs we sing
Songs I hate to hear
The joy to which we used to drink
Has long disappeared

hey! hey! hey! hey!

Oh, these sad songs we sing
Once music to my ears
Now that I'm gone
Think of me, my dear

hey! hey! hey! hey!

Oh, these sad songs we sing
As the end grows near
(pause)
For we must remember!
Remember the good years!
#2
Hey man...i dont wanna sound like a selfish prick, but could you lay down a crit for me? im kinda busy now, but ill get around to this later tonight or tomorrow.

If you can its the first one in my sig.
thx
#3
this is good . i would do u full crit for you but this is just soo damn long lol . some spots need a little touching up but other than that its pretty good . if u get a chance could u crit my song . this ghost will always be around . thanks peace
#5
Quote by Retribution
There's such a thing as too much repitition. This is it. Cut down on chorusing so much, you can't have a really long song with a chorus every 30 seconds. It gets boring and annoying.

Dude, FM is pub music, repetition is crucial, its kind of like club music back here in America. You know how they say "snap yo fingers" a million times? That's the same thing.

While your at it, can you crit my new one, Acid Rain? Thanks! https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=6427913&posted=1#post6427913
Last edited by MastaBassist10 at Aug 7, 2006,
#6
Quote by MastaBassist10
Dude, FM is pub music, repetition is crucial, its kind of like club music back here in America. You know how they say "snap yo fingers" a million times? That's the same thing.

While your at it, can you crit my new one, Acid Rain? Thanks! https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=6427913&posted=1#post6427913


Uh... no.
#10
i really enjoyed reading that, of course it does need some editing, but i really like the style...

Thousands, they flock
To come and greive...
Oh!...
This is Black Sunday Morning
Thousands, they fear
They all disappear
On this Black Sunday Morning


i love how that goes....good job man.....do you think you could lay down a crit on one of my songs...
My Gear:
Washburn Lyon Tele Copy
ESP LTD MH250NT
Samick D7-CE :
Digitech Death Metal Pedal
Dunlop Jimi Hendrix Wah
Peavy Renown Solo Series Amp
#11
Cool beans, man.....it's very Flogging Mollyish. Kinda like Black Friday rule........well rock on.
smell ya later dude