#1
Verse 1
Turn the TV on
through the couch out the window
I'll be waiting
for the word to come through
that there's been an altercation.
I'll make the bed I lie in
And I'm lying when I tell you
That I made it at all, at all, at all

Chorus
Everything we've got
is here in our apartment
and there's not that much
But I think our world is perfect
The hallway's crowded
with pimps and hores and dopers
There's a couple little problems
But nothing that I won't get over.

Verse 2
The plaster falls
when the upstairs neighbour has a client
but she say's she's sorry
they don't like it when she's quiet.
Across the hall he's crazy
but just maybe he is honest
I think he sees the truth, the truth, and the truth is.

Chorus
Everything we've got
is here in our apartment
and there's not that much
But I think our world is perfect
The hallway's crowded
with pimps and hores and dopers
There's a couple little problems
But nothing that I won't get over.

Bridge
This isn't what I wanted for you
But it's all that we've got.
Someday we'll have more money
Someday we'll have more stuff
But right now...
right now I'm happy that.

Chorus
Everything we've got
is here in our apartment
and there's not that much
But I think our world is perfect
The hallway's crowded
with pimps and hores and dopers
There's a couple little problems
But nothing that I won't get over.

Let me know what you think. Leave a link and I'll crit you back. Thanks everybody, means a lot!.
Cheers
- PunkFish
Last edited by PunkFish182 at Aug 8, 2006,
#2
I like it. It reminds me of that one Pinhead Gunpowder song a little.
Just one thing...I get the feeling you're trying to use the not-having-a-lot-but-still-being-happy thing as a metaphor, but it didn't seem to develop. So you may want to be a bit more in-depth about it if that's what you were trying to do?
But still, very nice.
#3
As magenta says the only problem is the "we're still happy" thing. It doesnt really develop until the bridge, so it kind of seems lame.
The verses though, are really really well developed. The first 4 lines of the second one are really catchy and both the verses have an awesome flow. The chorus is good i guess, but i think it could be a little more catchy and powerful.


Mines the first link in my sig, if you have time
thx