#1
what is it that i fear?
is it that i may die tomorrow?
is it that nobody will love me?
or is it just the simple fact
that we're all human beings
living among each other
in pursuit of happiness and greed

i shall not be taken down by this hidden artifact
of the sun
i shall not be forgotten in the sand
for i am stronger than the average man
with extreme proportions and views on life and death
i have my thoughts and you have yours, i am born of wars
fought and told

who am i you may ask?

i am a child
#6
I like the way the first verse was simple and cliche and the second was intricate

Crit my piece 'Dakota Never Lies' please
#8
It's sweet how you took the voice of a child, giving you the sound of a victim and innocence, but then portraying yourself as calloused and war weathered. Like we're brought up surrounded by death, growing up and noticing the **** we're up to our knees in, and this is saying I'm not going to fall victim to it. 'For I am stronger than the average man' sounds a little dumb though. You could phrase that better. Good stuff.