#1
Been staring at the cieling for about an hour
I'm really getting tired and my eyes are getting sore
I always feel this way when she brings me down
This Isn't any different it's just another go around

Time after time again
I find myself like this
Begging for one more chance
This is nothing new
And sometimes I wonder
Why I keep on tryin
Cuz I know I'll always be alone
Yeah I'll allways be alone

Haven't been this depressed in awhile
for her I'd run a hundred miles
People tell me get used to being alone
In my house theres no use for a ****ing phone

Chorus x2.....

This is the first song I've ever written. It's supposed to be punk so give me a crit. thanx
#2
Not to bad, but doesnt sound very punky I recon, sounds a lil emo. You got some tabs to go with it?
#4
1st verse isn't bad, although the last line comes off weird. The (I'm assuming) chorus doesn't is decent I think, nothing worth pointing out in it I think. The 2nd verse's opening lines come off a little too plain and ordinary... but the ending to it is pretty good, although it could benefit from editing a few words out. Overall it's decent, but it's very good for a first attempt. There's much worse out there from people that write a lot. Sounds more pop-punk than emo to me....
#5
in the first part u gotta very good flow, but in the chorus the word 'new' isnt really rhymin to anything...appart from that the song is brilliant
especially the last line in the 2nd v: "in my house theres no use for a ****ing phone"
n yea...its kinda punky
Check out some stuff called Goodbye, peace