#1
My eyes are breathed with night but I?m alright
Because I think you?re by my side to provide a light
But your being awfully subtle when you leave me blind
I understand, you?re not secure because my whispers are dry
I want to follow but my ears are blown
With bullets that you shot off from your mouth to
Another, so I?ll stop pretending I was ever a choice of words
To use and to keep in your heart for once

Cause I?m tired, of my thoughts
Of two things so alike
Lying awake, in a bed
Cause I hate the truth like how almost isn?t (just enough)

Chorus
Clouds move, hoping one day to return
To the sky that gave it the day
That it would, just never forget to lose
But you can?t blame it, it never said it?d stay

I?m trying to stay focused on reality
But it?s hard to focus when all I have is dreams
To keep and to review in my memory
Till it occurs to me that?s all it?ll ever be
You?re like the movie that I love to watch
Cause the lead actress is beautiful and just like me
Then the twist comes around so suddenly
It?s just a movie and all I can do is see that

Now it?s clear, like the sea
I can see, underneath
Perfect piece, of debris
Has found it?s way onto a western coast

Chorus
Clouds move, hoping one day to return
To the sky that gave it the day
That it would, just never forget to lose
But you can?t blame it, it never said it?d stay

Pre-End:
There isn?t much of a choice in times like these (The view from below)
Second-best was always good enough for me (Is so humble and cold)
Or maybe it wasn?t I?m not sure you see (But where you left off)
It?s probably just some relativity (Is warm enough for me)
I have a nothing for absolutely everything you want (The view from below)
So I don?t expect you to accept my part (Is so humble and cold)
But if nothing is impossible then I can start (But where you left off)
To wait for some chance (Is warm enough for me)
#2
I'm going to be honest and say that I didn't like the verses and pre-choruses purely because it isn't my type of writing. Too love gone wrong, in your face.

The chorus is really good because it seems to use metaphor better to explain what you've said before. I just really like the clouds/sky metaphor.

The Pre-end is also good. I'm assuming it is planned for use with a call and answer style vocal (One voice says the first half and another sings the brackets). I think that
The view from below
Is so humble and cold
But where you left off
Is warm enough for me

Is good enough for a pre chorus on its own to be repeated in the pre end. So, yeah. I think it has potential as long as it doesn't stay so obvious in the verses and such.

My song
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...ad.php?t=411285