#1
Hey, this is the first song Ive ever written. It has a sort of Jet/ACDC feel to it.

Any comments, opinions, and suggestions are welcomed.


He?s a man on fire, SOB on a run.
He?s comin? after you, but just for fun.
You mess with him then you?re messin? with death.
This won?t hurt a bit, now take your last breath.

He?s got a plan in mind, and a gun in hand.
?Shut your mouth,? he will demand.
He?s a bad boy, he won?t listen to you.
And there?s nothin? you or anyone else can do.

And there?s nothin? you or anyone else can do.

Bang, you?re dead!
Put that gun right up to your head.
Bang, you?re dead!
Hit the floor, and I said?

Bang, you?re dead!
Put that gun right up to your head.
Bang, you?re dead!
Hit the floor, and I said?

Bang, you?re dead!

The kid?s a real menace, he?s a demon at heart.
Make one wrong move, and he?ll tear you apart.
?There?s something wrong with this son of ours?.?
Yeah, he?s kickin? ass, and spendin? time at bars!

He?s feelin? cool, and feelin? the groove.
He ain?t got nothin? to prove.
He?s a bad boy, he won?t listen to you.
And there?s nothin? you or anyone else can do.

And there?s nothin? you or anyone else can do.

Bang, you?re dead!
Put that gun right up to your head.
Bang, you?re dead!
Hit the floor, and I said?

Bang, you?re dead!
Put that gun right up to your head.
Bang, you?re dead!
Hit the floor, and I said?

Bang, you?re dead!
It's difficult to win unless you're bored.
Last edited by TechnicolorBoy at Aug 10, 2006,
#2
Wow, that was pretty good. I can definitely see the AC/DC influence in the style. I don't like the line "He ain't got nothin to prove" but the rest of the song is great! Crit one of mine?
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#3
I really like it, it kind of has a "bad-ass" feel to it.

If I were you I would change "bad-boy" to "bad-ass"

and change "The kid's a real menace" to "The Dude's a real menace", or "The man's a real menace."
#4
i like the rhythm, its like perfect, i would really like to hear that song, anyways u can find my song called Euphoria somewhere around, peace
#5
Thanks for all the support and comments. Ill be sure to crit yours.
It's difficult to win unless you're bored.
#6
This is a cool fun song, which they aren't alot around. It sounds like it has great rhythm too.

Feel free to crit mine in my sig