hey this is my second song...... I think i may have gone a little to personal which could have taken away some of the lyrical value, any opinions or crit or if i should maybe just scrap it would be great thanks

Inside I'm not so secure,
and im not without fear,
i love and i hate i dream and i wait,
for the morning after truth,
the taste of revenge

To see through this masquerade,
to realize all the intentions that surround us,
and all those who lie,
the clock is ticking,
the triggers clicking,

Intoxicated without the remorse,
that surrounds our every decision,
to many wrongs,
this war has dragged on to long,
me or you one of our lives is through,
and im not so alive anymore.
honestly...This sounds alot like the way my writing was when I first started. It may seem really good to you now, but in a couple years you'll look back and think, "damn that sucked." Im not saying scrap it by any means, its just decent. its good for your second song...just keep trying to progress. Read some lyrics or listen to some songs by bands that have bigger vocabularies: Such as Trivium or Killswitch Engage.
If to live is to die, then is to die to live? Thats a bunch of S_H_I_T.