#1
Greetings all. Another one from me. Leave a link, if you please.
--------------------------

Do you hear me?
My heartbeat
thunders in your mind
as silently as
insect wings.

Do you feel me?
My thoughts hit you
with the power
of a pondering butterfly.

Do you see me?
I pester our
communal light
and shower your brain
with shadows.

Do you know me?
I am the quiet friend
you never cared for.
#2
Awwwwesomeness

[edit:] Seriously, I don't say this kind of thing lightly. It is my opinion that this is brilliant. It's exactly my kind of minimalist bag, anyway.
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Last edited by scousertommy at Aug 11, 2006,
#5
no no no, i dont like it, i LOVE it,
itsa great thing, a meaningfull one, thanx 4 posting it,really
crit mine if u getta chance, peace
#6
Heya there,

Once more I'm impressed by your quality-to-length ratio. I think you've really got the style nailed perfectly, and you again keep the tone throughout here strong, which you also have a skill in.

So, yes, another impressive piece. Well done.

I don't have anything up as of yet, but if you see my name below a thread title in the next few days, It would be great if you could get round to it.
#7
Just to re-iterate;
My thoughts hit you
with the power
of a pondering butterfly.

This is pleasing for me. It seems so simple...and it is!...and it's brilliant! I love it.
Damn, this really is a piece I can invest emotion in, too.
Much kudos
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#8
y'know, everytime I decide on a new style to explore in my writing I reach a piece that completely shuts the previous down (ie. when I discoverd Will, when I discovered Matt) and this is one of those. After reading the pure simplistic 'beauty' of this I'm forced to reinvent my own style, to adapt in order to evolve. so yes, good job

edit: if you want (not that this crit really warranted one in return) https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=412380
#10
Thanks to all you guys. Once again, I'm pleased people can appreciate the different bits at work.
#11
one word: COOLNISS

this is dark, right down my lane....great job

peace out
UG's HIPPIE