#1
Oky doke, this song is about leaving something bad behind and stepping forward into something new (fairly obvious me thinks). It's also meant to serve as a reminder that a bad situation will pass eventually, you just just have to wait for the right moment. Enjoy! Oh yeah Crit for crit as always, it won't be immediate, i'm having trouble getting access to a computer at the moment, but rest-assured I will crit it when i can!

Caught up in a constant tangle,
Smoke from the blast,
theres some pain here,
that needs to be strangled.

When i'm shoved this way,
and that, my mind
it looses track of its path

I need some guidance,
from this fork in the road,
the wind tells the barley,
which way you rode.

I've lost it now, can't think no-more
''I'll leave you behind here''
and I lock the door.

Theres a one-way gate behind me,
and a long path ahead,
I look to the stars
and I take my very first step.

Dropped off by the side of the road,
my feet don't hurt, i've no reason to moan,
I've left you behind,
and found my own way home.

I step on to familiar grass,
the world finally lights up
turn on the news,
my history, is the past.

The music begins to sway,
and I started to say,
but I never had a chance.

And the devil in the sea
used to laugh at me,
And i'd start to dance.
.Brand New.Bright Eyes.This Will Destroy You.

THRRRRRRRREADKILLER!
Last edited by Cpt.Jackass at Aug 11, 2006,
#3
The only negative I see is, "My history, is the past" works better for me if it was, "My history, is now the past". just a little more descriptive. good job though.
If to live is to die, then is to die to live? Thats a bunch of S_H_I_T.
#4
ma fave parts are:

I've lost it now, can't think no-more
''I'll leave you behind here''
and I lock the door.

Theres a one-way gate behind me,
and a long path ahead,
I look to the stars
and I take my very first step.



the rest is okay, sometimes i lost track in reading it right, maybe cause of the not exact rhyme n flow, anyways, keep on
#5
Thanks for the comments. Sveta, i'll crit yours soon as I get chance, but I have to go.
.Brand New.Bright Eyes.This Will Destroy You.

THRRRRRRRREADKILLER!
#7
Quote by Smoothrider_41
ooh, i like this song, i realy would like to hear it sung or played.


Thanks.
.Brand New.Bright Eyes.This Will Destroy You.

THRRRRRRRREADKILLER!