#1
Just a little something, my first lyrics on here and my first post *hides*-

Seizing control of lands he now holds,
Patrolling his fortress,
His power bestowed,
An iron grip, over his universe,
His enemies weakened,
His followers diverse,
Mind numbing in battle,
Evil growing inside,
Taking whatever his worlds will provide,

A king in his castle, staring up from the sea,
Marks of war left around him,
His great towers debris,
The master now rules him,
As he rules all the men,
Gather to worship him, your new master and friend,

You cannot win, all good shall fail,
Your new god, you shall avail,
Screams of children, that died in vein,
To feed the creatures in your masters domain,

Pain is nothing, evil, a way of life,
Trampling through the buildings,
Slaughtering men and their wives,
Putting mankind in shackles,
Only the insane will survive,
A straight-jacket on mercy,
I am alive!

No need for humanity, I am the new race,
**** your religion, your rules are disgrace,
I am your leader, I am your lord,
You cannot argue, there is no accord,
The skin trophy is mine, Life cannot be restored,
Wake and feel my wrath!
I am the master, ruler and lord!
#2
That was quite good, I liked it. The first two verses were my favourite, and I liked the way you ended it. It flowed veyr nice as well, although in some parts I had to stop and get the rytham, but I don't think its anything major. The rhyming scheme helped keep the flow going as well. Congrats on a brilliant first post

The master now rules him,
As he rules all the men,
Gather to worship him, your new master and friend,


That was my favourite part, nice job.

Crit mine? If you do the link is in my sig =]
.Brand New.Bright Eyes.This Will Destroy You.

THRRRRRRRREADKILLER!
#3
like it, has a good beat.
My Rig:

Schecter Omen 6
DOD American Metal
Vox AD30VT
#5
wow. That was really good. It actually reminds me of a mix of 2 Trivium songs off of Ascendency. great use of vocab.
If to live is to die, then is to die to live? Thats a bunch of S_H_I_T.
#8
its all good, i like the ending the most
yea sometimes i lost ma way in reading cause of some not rhyming, but overall its cool.
Thnx 4 the interesting post, chill
see my stuff around
#11
That's pretty cool. Kind of has the almost historical feeling that lots of Maiden has. I'm not sure I would write the skin trophy. You could probably just leave it at "The Trophy is mine". Still, I really like it. Good job.
#12
I dunno, I'll admit I nicked the 'skin trophey' from a Megadeth song. And as long as it dosen't actually sound like Trivium I'm ok with it, thanks for comments n all.