#1
this is a song i wrote after listening to parkway drive, they rule so much i decided to try my luck with a hardcore song. enjoy! and tell me what u think. here are the lyrics if u dont understand what i'm saying, which u wont half the time lol.

they leave u breathless
poisoned in your lungs
drowned in flames
i cant be burned

under the sky
damnation sets in
this curse will never die
will never be healed oh why
poisoned
with ur last breath u show them what they've done
corroded souls find comfont
furthest from the sun
the sun
u burn
we burn
never take me down

your twisted game is
forever with a tainted name
i wont look at you the same
pulled apart and twisted
our ties have been severed
if you could look into my eyes
tell me truthful lies

corroded souls find comfort
furthest from the sun
corroded souls find comfort
furthest from the sun

http://dave_tran.dmusic.com/

cheers
Last edited by Nirtallica at Aug 13, 2006,
#2
Intresting...I don't like the dodgy screamin vocals. I honestly can't stand that sort of singing.

Pros: Decent and solid
Original
Clearish recording


Cons: Vocals are not what i'm used too but thats just me
Pan your guitars???
Needs more work in the writing department
Though 'clearish', not good enough for radio or anything big.


Overall: Good song, not my style but good none the less

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=412368 check out mine?
Orophin
#3
yessssss
i love this kind of stuff
nice screams man?
i wish i could do that
the guitars are good
its more as i lay dying sort of style hardcore instead of the more ny style punk hardcore?
nice drumming, i think the vocals are a bit loud and need to be brought down into the mix a bit, maybe pan your guitars so you can hear them better
nice breakdowns, accurate clean playing
really good riffing here
definately moshable, catchy
quietens down a bit into this clean section now, again could do with panning a bit to separate the parts
but very nice
i liked that.
so im going to listen again
impressive
gotta tell me how you get those growls
mine are kinda monopitched and i cant seem to vary my pitch which is annoying me
also
care to crit my piece called "the dream"
its not hXc but you may like it, its an instrumental.
link in my sig
keep it up *thumbs up*

edit: oops i forgot
your lyrics...
are very good also, quite fitting of the genre
and have a definate reason and purpose to them
so its not like they're going nowhere
nice one
Last edited by Godderz_24 at Aug 12, 2006,